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In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. WHY has this change occurred? DO you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. WHY has this change occurred? DO you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? LK5V
In recent times, teenagers are inclined to spending more of their time with their friends rather than with their families. Not only will this essay discuss the reasons for such trend to occur but it will also explain my reasons why I believe parents should try enforcing practices to ensure their kids spend more time at home. The rapid changes in the recent technological era, has widened the age gap between young adults and their parents. This age gap fosters conflict of interest in the family set ups. An illustration of this in this age of social media, teenagers would rather have friends in a virtual whom they share common interests rather than spend time with family members whom they would find common interests with. Additionally, with recent economic fluctuations, parents are spending most of their time working in order to fulfill the families’ needs and therefore do not get enough time to get involved in their teenagers’ lives. This naturally causes a rift between teenagers and their parents, as they will start to alienate themselves. In my opinion, parents should recognize the need to create more family time with their teenagers because lack of it would have negative effects on their behavior outcome from external influences. Teenagers are susceptible to negative influence through interaction with the outside world without their parents’ knowledge or supervisor, which might lead to negative acquired behaviors according to child psychology experts. Moreover, if teenagers spend less time with their families, it may weaken family relations, which could lead to depression, or breed hatred towards parents. Parents should therefore put in place family practices from an early age to ensure more family time and this practice will trickle down to teenage years. In conclusion, the widespread trend of teenagers spending more time with friends is attributed to the conflict in interests with adults and lack of enough and quality family time. In my opinion, parents forcing children to spend more time with their families is of utmost importance.
In recent
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times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are inclined
to spending more of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends
rather
than with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will this essay discuss the reasons for such trend to occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my reasons why I believe
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parents
should try enforcing
The verb 'practices' is used with the gerund form: "practices ensuring".
practices to ensure
their kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home.

The rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the recent technological era, has widened the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gap between young adults and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gap fosters conflict of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
set ups
. An illustration of this in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
would
rather
have friends in a virtual whom they share common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members whom they would find common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
with.
Additionally
, with recent economic fluctuations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are spending most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working in order to fulfill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
needs and
therefore
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This
naturally
causes a rift between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to alienate themselves.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should recognize the need to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of it would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their behavior outcome from external influences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are susceptible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence through interaction with the outside world without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
knowledge or supervisor, which might lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
acquired behaviors according to child psychology experts.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, it may weaken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations, which could lead to depression, or breed hatred towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
therefore
put in place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
practices from an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to ensure more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and this practice will trickle down to teenage years.

In conclusion
, the widespread trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends
is attributed
to the conflict in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
with adults and lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
forcing children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is of utmost importance.
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IELTS essay In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. WHY has this change occurred? DO you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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