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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history them world history .To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history them world history. 7dyb
Unlike the past, when pupil are interrative some knowlegde by our history story at present numberous of school and education board to one subject of our countires history whether learned world history and local history not looking at all aspects I am parially accord. This surrounded so many controvesie I undoutbly agree. Various factor have influneced my stand in this matter. Out of several observations the first which comes to my mind is that important for guideline and a socitey how to old people were achiving goals and fights to learned and motivated. This view exits of goverments had developed some subjected in history. As a results many facts even strugles of old people and achiveing some fights. Furthermore, We cannot ignore the reality of that local history is good part to learend world history how to make earth and some people saying to globally. This reason is buoyed in the fact that student are good in general knowlegde. Consequently many people are always encourage some students. Moreover, everyone notice that most people scotting to learn local history but ignore the world history. This fact taken in to account people were boring in history subject because know one say is good but everybody say its a boring subject. Therefore many student had studies in local study. To matter on his exam. However, observation of many people were loved to history study slightly above mentioned agrumented to documentry movie wise to learn children. In conclusion, in furture technology was coming abd developed to some parks to showing history studies.
Unlike the past, when pupil are
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interrative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlegde
by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
story at present
Possible spelling mistake found.
numberous
of school and education board to one subject of our
Possible spelling mistake found.
countires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
whether learned world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
not looking at all aspects I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
parially
accord. This surrounded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
controvesie
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoutbly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.

Various factor have
Possible spelling mistake found.
influneced
my stand in this matter. Out of several observations the
first
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to my mind is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for guideline and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
socitey
how to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
achiving
goals and fights to learned and motivated. This view exits of
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
had developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjected in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facts even
Possible spelling mistake found.
strugles
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
achiveing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fights.
Furthermore
, We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the reality of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
part to
Possible spelling mistake found.
learend
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
earth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
saying
Did you mean "too"?
to
globally. This reason
is buoyed
in the fact
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that student is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that student are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in general
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlegde
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students.

Moreover
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "notices", "noticed".
notice
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
scotting
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This fact taken in to account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were boring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
know one say is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody say
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a boring subject.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Possible agreement error. The noun student seems to be countable; consider using: "many students".
many student
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. To matter on his exam.

However
, observation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
slightly
above mentioned
Possible spelling mistake found.
agrumented
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
documentry
movie wise to learn children.

In conclusion
, in
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furture
technology was coming
Possible spelling mistake found.
abd
developed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parks to showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
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IELTS essay It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history them world history.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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