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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? pkEa
It has been suggestion by many experts that in order to bringing people from the various culture and ages together, music play crucial role for it. If asked, I differ from the given statement but to a major extent. My preference must be elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs. Along with the multiple reasons to support my viewpoint, the foremost one is that for gathering people together either from various culture and age group, for it a number of recreational activities are better. In other words, by having that type of activity everyone wants to take enrollment in it. For example, the Indian government introduces the clean India campaign in 2015. As a result, every Indian from different states, culture, and ages are actively involved in it. Also, whenever they want to perform it so that time they gathered at a particular place where they could conveniently complete that type of activity without any misconceptions between each other. In brief, instead of music, certain alternative wats are available for gathering others, which leads to more effective results on local people. However, I would not fail to notice that because of the lyrics and beats of the music. People of different cultures and ages are fascinated by it. Also, by listening to it they would have a better experience and great fun with others. Not only this but also people would familiar with various ethics and traditional. To conclude, it can be eventually commented that although music could bring people from other cultures and ages together, I believe that this is not an ideal way for it. Because there are alternative ways available that lead to striking out-comes for this activity.
It has been suggestion by
many
experts that in order to bringing
people
from the various
culture
and
ages
together,
music
play crucial role for it. If asked, I differ from the
given
statement
but
to a major extent. My preference
must
be elaborated
in the ensuing paragraphs.

Along with the multiple reasons to support my viewpoint, the foremost one is that for gathering
people
together either from various
culture
and
age
group, for it a number of recreational
activities
are better. In
other
words, by having that type of
activity
everyone wants to take enrollment in it.
For example
, the Indian
government
introduces the clean India campaign in 2015.
As a result
, every Indian from
different
states,
culture
, and
ages
are
actively
involved in it.
Also
, whenever they want to perform it
so
that time they gathered at a particular place where they could
conveniently
complete that type of
activity
without any misconceptions between each
other
.
In brief
,
instead
of
music
, certain alternative
wats
are available for gathering others, which leads to more effective results on local
people
.

However
, I would not fail to notice that
because
of the lyrics and beats of the
music
.
People
of
different
cultures
and
ages
are fascinated
by it.
Also
, by listening to
it
they would have a better experience and great fun with others. Not
only
this
but
also
people
would familiar with various ethics and traditional.

To conclude
, it can be
eventually
commented that although
music
could bring
people
from
other
cultures
and
ages
together, I believe that this is not an ideal way for it.
Because
there are alternative ways available that lead to striking out-
comes
for this
activity
.
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IELTS essay Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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