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Some people believe that having a sport in schools is waste of time and resources, whilst other believe that sport in schools is vital part of education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that having a sport in schools is waste of time and resources, whilst other believe that sport in schools is vital part of education. k9MN
Incontrovertibly, it is a highly debatable topic of today, which is related to sport. some people asset that investment in sport activity in the school is waste of money and time, while others deem that it is important part of education. The further paragraph will discuss my opinion pertaining to necessity to invest money in sport activity for the points including healthy lifestyle and development skills. Both the aspects along with my opinion has been elaborated in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, on one side of the argument there are many people, who believe that investing in sports activities in schools is waste of money due to numerous reasons. First and foremost, sport equipment are very expensive and also it requires huge amount of money for maintenance. Secondly, sport can treat as a harmful activity for academic purpose. Due to more focus on sports, students can not give their 100% in education and also loose their concentration from studies. For instance, a recent research research of UK government have shown that 80% of students, who involved in sports activities, are not able focus on their study. While on flip side of the coin, there are few many people, who disagree with this view and believe that it is significant part of education because it encourage to live healthy lifestyle and keep themselves fit. If students take part in all activities than he can also develop several skills such as communication, teamwork. This will help a student to built a confident in itself. To exemplify, a report publish by Hindu newspaper have shown that 72% students develop their abilities and skills by taking part in extra sport activities. In my opinion, I believe that by taking part in sport activity, students can learn many new things in their lives and develop multitude skills with healthy lifestyle. To conclude, although sport activity require huge investment, I believe that it is more beneficial to students for their growth.
Incontrovertibly
, it is a
highly
debatable topic of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, which
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
asset that investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in the school is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time, while others deem that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of education. The
further
paragraph will discuss my opinion pertaining to necessity to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for the points including healthy lifestyle and development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Both the aspects along with my opinion has
been elaborated
in upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, on one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in schools is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
due to numerous reasons.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
equipment are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
also
it requires huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for maintenance.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can treat as a harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for academic purpose. Due to more focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not give their 100% in education and
also
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their concentration from studies.
For instance
, a recent
Possible typo: you repeated a word
research research
of UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have shown that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, are not able focus on their study.

While on flip side of the coin, there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who disagree with this view and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "encourages"?
encourage
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than he can
also
develop several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as communication, teamwork. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a confident in itself. To exemplify, a report publish by Hindu newspaper have shown that 72%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop their abilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities.

In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and develop multitude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
with healthy lifestyle.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
require huge investment, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their growth.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that having a sport in schools is waste of time and resources, whilst other believe that sport in schools is vital part of education.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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