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In modern societies, concern on health issues being on the rise in synchrony with the improvement in living standards. Some people hold a firm belief that it is more feasible to have the national budget expended on precautionary measures rather than spent on curing process. Personally, I am partly in agreement with this viewpoint due to the following justifications. On the one hand, investment in disease prevention is an ingenious approach to implement because of numerous reasons. First and foremost, recent years have witnessed a rising number of people who lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to a wide range of serious health problems including obesity or cardiovascular diseases. As a result, it is crucial to heighten public awareness by promoting regular exercises and sport activities. For example, the government can invest in running several national forum or talk show discusing about the demererits of unbalanced lifestlye or sharing valuable information regarding healthcare d

In modern societies, concern on health issues being on the rise in synchrony with the improvement in living standards. Some people hold a firm belief that it is more feasible to have the national budget expended on precautionary measures rather than spent on curing process. Personally, I am partly in agreement with this viewpoint due to the following justifications. On the one hand, investment in disease prevention is an ingenious approach to implement because of numerous reasons. First and foremost, recent years have witnessed a rising number of people who lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to a wide range of serious health problems including obesity or cardiovascular diseases. As a result, it is crucial to heighten public awareness by promoting regular exercises and sport activities. For example, the government can invest in running several national forum or talk show discusing about the demererits of unbalanced lifestlye or sharing valuable information regarding healthcare d Nl9My
In modern societies, concern on health issues being on the rise in synchrony with the improvement in living standards. Some people hold a firm belief that it is more feasible to have the national budget expended on precautionary measures rather than spent on curing process. Personally, I am partly in agreement with this viewpoint due to the following justifications. On the one hand, investment in disease prevention is an ingenious approach to implement because of numerous reasons. First and foremost, recent years have witnessed a rising number of people who lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to a wide range of serious health problems including obesity or cardiovascular diseases. As a result, it is crucial to heighten public awareness by promoting regular exercises and sport activities. For example, the government can invest in running several national forum or talk show discusing about the demererits of unbalanced lifestlye or sharing valuable information regarding healthcare domain. In this way, the mass can be immersed in academic knowlededge in a more approachable way, thus resulting in a smarter choice of lifestyle. On the other hand, emphasis on treatment expenditure is of great pivotal importance illustrated by various outstanding benefits. First, it is a fact that not all the illnesses are stemmed from inappropriate lifestyle choices; they may be attributed to the detrimental influence of modern living conditions such as pollution or clean water shortage. Therefore, the construction of new hospitals and medical stations in remote areas could be taken as a practicle inititive for budget expenditure. Second, funding for hospitals throughout financial support for treating patients could be a golden opportunity to conduct vital research into new treatments. Hence, domestic medical prospects can take the credit with cutting-edge discoveries. From the aforementioned points, while I have a tendency to advocate those who emphasize the overwhelming advantages of allocating national money on preventing methods, it is s acknowledged that there are plentiful profits of delivering cash on healing patients.
In modern societies, concern on health issues being on the rise in synchrony with the improvement in living standards.
Some
people
hold a firm belief that it is more feasible to have the national budget expended on precautionary measures
rather
than spent on curing process.
Personally
, I am partly in agreement with this viewpoint due to the following justifications.

On the one hand, investment in disease prevention is an ingenious approach to implement
because
of numerous reasons.
First
and foremost, recent years have witnessed a rising number of
people
who lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to a wide range of serious health problems including obesity or cardiovascular diseases.
As a result
, it is crucial to heighten public awareness by promoting regular exercises and sport activities.
For example
, the
government
can invest in running several national forum or talk
show
discusing
about the
demererits
of unbalanced
lifestlye
or sharing valuable information regarding healthcare domain. In this way, the mass can
be immersed
in academic
knowlededge
in a more approachable way,
thus
resulting in a smarter choice of lifestyle.

On the other hand
, emphasis on treatment expenditure is of great pivotal importance illustrated by various outstanding benefits.
First
, it is a fact that not all the illnesses
are stemmed
from inappropriate lifestyle choices; they may
be attributed
to the detrimental influence of modern living conditions such as pollution or clean water shortage.
Therefore
, the construction of new hospitals and medical stations in remote areas could
be taken
as a
practicle
inititive
for budget expenditure. Second, funding for hospitals throughout financial support for treating patients could be a golden opportunity to conduct vital research into new treatments.
Hence
, domestic medical prospects can take the credit with cutting-edge discoveries.

From the aforementioned points, while I have a tendency to advocate those who emphasize the overwhelming advantages of allocating national money on preventing methods, it is s acknowledged that there are plentiful profits of delivering cash on healing patients.
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IELTS essay In modern societies, concern on health issues being on the rise in synchrony with the improvement in living standards. Some people hold a firm belief that it is more feasible to have the national budget expended on precautionary measures rather than spent on curing process. Personally, I am partly in agreement with this viewpoint due to the following justifications. On the one hand, investment in disease prevention is an ingenious approach to implement because of numerous reasons. First and foremost, recent years have witnessed a rising number of people who lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to a wide range of serious health problems including obesity or cardiovascular diseases. As a result, it is crucial to heighten public awareness by promoting regular exercises and sport activities. For example, the government can invest in running several national forum or talk show discusing about the demererits of unbalanced lifestlye or sharing valuable information regarding healthcare d

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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