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homeshooling or normal school for children development

homeshooling or normal school for children development 30RRm
There has been ongoing debates on whether children would benefit more from homeschooling than attending actual classroom. Each one of he methods has its own advantages, which will be discussed further in this essay. To begin with, there are two main advantages of homeshooling compares to normal onsite teaching facilities namely the flexible curriculum and a more supervised learning environment. The curriculum offered by homeshooling facilities often provide both parents and children the flexibility of choosing subjects that are better suited for the children's particular need. For example, a child with apparent interest in art, a subject which most early education systems only provide as part on an additional lesson, can lessons that are centered towards the development of his or her artistic skills. Children with learning disabilities would also greatly benefited from this type of tailor made curriculum. This brings us to the next point, which is a learning environment that is better arranged for the children's need, allowing direct supervision from the parents regarding the education's progress. Subsequently, this also lowers the chance of any form of bullying to occur, which is often the issue for children with special needs. Comparatively, going to a more traditional school settings can proof beneficial to the children especially in their early stage of mental and cognitive development. The first advantage is the school environment, within which children can experience varied social interactions and learn how to build interpersonal relationships not only with peers their own age, but also with teachers as adult figures. Studying a set of predetermined subjects with a clear set of schedule in a designated classroom may help children to be better acquainted with self management and develop better discipline. The more general scorring system can encourage children to strive for better in a healthy competition with fellow students, while experienced educators could act as a guide and mediator whenever problem arises in their study or school social life. To summarise, there are definitely many advantages offered by home and school based educations. In my opinion, a child's development can be best served with the combination of both education systems. A child can be educated first in a more controlled homeschooling first, which allowed them to maximize their particular talents, and then as they reach a certain age, they can attend a more traditional school to develop their social skills.
There has been ongoing debates on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would benefit more from homeschooling than attending actual classroom. Each one of
Did you mean "the"?
he
methods has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
, which will
be discussed
further
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeshooling
compares to normal onsite teaching facilities
namely
the flexible curriculum and a more supervised learning environment. The curriculum offered by
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeshooling
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide both parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the flexibility of choosing subjects that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
suited for the children's particular need.
For example
, a child with apparent interest in art, a subject which most early education systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide as part on an additional lesson, can lessons that
are centered
towards the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
with learning disabilities would
also
greatly
benefited from this type of tailor made curriculum. This brings us to the
next
point, which is a learning environment
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
arranged for the children's need, allowing direct supervision from the parents regarding the education's progress.
Subsequently
, this
also
lowers the chance of any form of bullying to occur, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with special needs.

Comparatively
, going to a more traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
settings can proof beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
in their early stage of mental and cognitive development. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment, within which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can experience varied social interactions and learn how to build interpersonal relationships not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with peers their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with teachers as adult figures. Studying a set of predetermined subjects with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
set of schedule in a designated classroom may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
acquainted with self management and develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
discipline. The more general
Possible spelling mistake found.
scorring
system can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to strive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in a healthy competition with fellow students, while experienced educators could act as a guide and mediator whenever problem arises in their study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
social life.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, there are definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
offered by home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
based educations. In my opinion, a child's development can be best served with the combination of both education systems. A child can
be educated
first
in a more controlled homeschooling
first
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to maximize their particular talents, and then as they reach a certain age, they can attend a more traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

IELTS essay homeshooling or normal school for children development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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