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some people say that cell phones have improved modern life. others believe that cell phones have caused many problems to people. What is your opinion?

some people say that cell phones have improved modern life. others believe that cell phones have caused many problems to people. What is your opinion? mXrrN
It is evident that phones have a crucial role in our modern life. However, a number of people think that cell phones still have adverse impact on them. This essay will discuss both views and then give an own opinion. On the one hand, mobile phones are extremely useful in several aspects of life. To begin with, in terms of entertainment, people have more opportunities to access to various apps and websites. Therefore, they can update a wide range of information all around the world. In addition, cell phones makes people happier. For instance, after working flat out, they can chill out by playing games or listening to music. Moreover, mobile phones are worthwhile tools for the education and work. Thanks to the Internet, students are now able to improve their self-study skill as they can research and learn about any subjects at the touch of a button. What's more, communication is greatly affected by the appearance of phones. People can still get in touch with each other despite the distance. For example, Zoom or messenger make it possible for people to interact without meeting in person. However, phones can cause several problems to people. First, people's health may be affected negatively. Now, more people, especially teenagers glue to the phone's screen instead of engaging out door activities. This can lead to health issues such as bad eye-sight or obesity. Furthermore, children can access to both and good news on the internet. As a result, they may have bad awareness. Last but not least, real interaction in the community is now decreasing due to the development of mobile phones. Thus, a large number of people will lack their communication skills. In conclusion, mobile phones both have advantages and disadvantages. Thus, people should use them effectively to have a good results.
It is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have a crucial role in our modern life.
However
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
still
have adverse impact on them. This essay will discuss both views and then give an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
extremely
useful in several aspects of life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in terms of entertainment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more opportunities to access to various apps and websites.
Therefore
, they can update a wide range of information all around the world.
In addition
, cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier.
For instance
, after working flat out, they can chill out by playing games or listening to music.
Moreover
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are worthwhile tools for the education and work. Thanks to the Internet, students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their self-study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as they can research and learn about any subjects at the touch of a button. What's more, communication is
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with each other despite the distance.
For example
, Zoom or messenger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact without meeting in person.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can cause several problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
glue to the phone's screen
instead
of engaging out door activities. This can lead to health issues such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eye-sight or obesity.
Furthermore
, children can access to both and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news on the internet.
As a result
, they may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
awareness. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, real interaction in the community is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
decreasing due to the development of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Thus
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lack their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
both have advantages and disadvantages.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
effectively
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results.
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IELTS essay some people say that cell phones have improved modern life. others believe that cell phones have caused many problems to people. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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