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In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? K6V0
Nowadays we can find that online communication started to play a big role in many workplaces, Most of business interviews are getting through online Applications, Such as: Skype and Zoom etc. In the past everything should be happen personally, to make an interview, to create a business meeting, Everyone must be located at the same place, and that was definitely consume a lot of time, Because of the huge loss of time during traffics, But now, and specially after the pandemic of Covid-19, Most of workplaces are appealing to use the online communication more than face to face meeting. In my opinion that there’re a numerous advantages of online methods, even if there is a disadvantages are already exist. Let’s look for a sort of advantages, It’s so easy now to create a meeting at any time, your not being afraid of an absence of a colleague who can’t attend to the meeting, Because he doesn’t stay at the office, Otherwise, we will save a quantity of time which always being spent for collecting everyone to the meeting room or the meeting area. I’m completely a big fan and supporter of using online communications at meetings, and I think that I can find a huge number of people are already having a big agreement with me.
Nowadays we can find that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workplaces, Most of business interviews are getting through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Applications, Such as: Skype and Zoom etc.

In the past everything should be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
personally
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an interview, to create a business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
, Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be located
at the same place, and that was definitely
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the huge loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during traffics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
specially
after the pandemic of Covid-19,
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the workplaces") or simply say "Most workplaces".
Most of workplaces
are appealing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication more than face to face meeting.

In my opinion that there’re a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "advantage"?
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
methods, even if
Did you mean "there are a disadvantages"?
there is a disadvantages
are already exist.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s look for a sort of advantages, It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, your not being afraid of an absence of a colleague who can’t attend to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
he doesn’t stay at the office,
Otherwise
, we will save a quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which always
being spent
for collecting everyone to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
room or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
area.

I’m completely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan and supporter of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communications at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I can find a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are already having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
agreement with me.
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IELTS essay In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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