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In many universities, the majority ethnic group and strong students are always making up many students. Therefore, by law, the universities should accept more students from ethnocentric and students with disabilities

In many universities, the majority ethnic group and strong students are always making up many students. Therefore, by law, the universities should accept more students from ethnocentric and students with disabilities 0ak7O
The issue of ethnic minorities is always one of the most discussed topics. In many universities, the majority ethnic group and strong students are always making up many students. Therefore, by law, the universities should accept more students from ethnocentric and students with disabilities. In this essay, I will discuss both sides about the arguments for and against this to judge whether this is practical or not. Firstly, we will look at the advantages of this idea. If universities accept racial minorities group, they will receive education, which will bring a lot of benefits for the student to develop their life, because they can improve their skills and knowledge. In addition, they might have more opportunities for a job with an elevated position. For example, In Vietnam, many leaders in the state apparatus are ethnic minorities. For disabled students, it is an opportunity to integrate with the student community in the university. They may have more relationships and friends. As a result, they feel happier and get the power to overcome difficulties. On the other hand, studying in universities means handicapped people have more extra activities, such as volunteering. However, it is difficult for them to participate in these activities because of the defects in the body. Consequently, they perceive themself as not valuable in group activities and have negative thoughts about themself. In conclusion, there are two opposing views. There can be no doubt that, ethnic minorities and students with impairment should be allowed to study at university. I believe knowledge and relationships will be the essentials that will help them develop holistically. However, they must go through hardships in community activities.
The issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
is always one of the most discussed topics. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, the majority
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ethnic
group and strong
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students
are always making up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Therefore
, by law, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should accept more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from ethnocentric and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with disabilities. In this essay, I will discuss both sides about the arguments for and against this to judge whether this is practical or not.

Firstly
, we will look at the advantages of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
accept racial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
group, they will receive education, which will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to develop their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
In addition
, they might have more opportunities for a job with an elevated position.
For example
, In Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
leaders in the state apparatus are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
. For disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is an opportunity to integrate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
community in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. They may have more relationships and friends.
As a result
, they feel happier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the power to overcome difficulties.

On the other hand
, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
means handicapped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, such as volunteering.
However
, it is difficult for them to participate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the defects in the body.
Consequently
, they perceive
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
as not valuable in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts about
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.

In conclusion
, there are two opposing views. There can be no doubt that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with impairment should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I believe knowledge and relationships will be the essentials that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop
holistically
.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go through hardships in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay In many universities, the majority ethnic group and strong students are always making up many students. Therefore, by law, the universities should accept more students from ethnocentric and students with disabilities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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