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*In many places,shopping is seen as a form of enjoyment rather than a thing of need?* *Why is this happening?* *Is this a positive or negative development?*

*In many places, shopping is seen as a form of enjoyment rather than a thing of need? * *Why is this happening? * *Is this a positive or negative development? * JoV9e
In the recent times, the number of people who shop for fun, rather than for necessities is on the rise. This could be due to the increased advertisements, this action is definitely not a positive advancement. To begin with, on of the reasons this is so is because, the number of advertisements has increased tremendously. As a result, more and more citizens are bought over, wanting to own these products in their homes. Therefore, the fulfillment of this quest makes people see purchasing as fun, these days. For instance, my friend, who is a banker, goes shopping every other day, just to buy what she saw the on the advert the previous day. She takes pictures while buying them and upload the photos on her social platforms. This gives her so much joy. Nevertheless, despite the satisfaction experienced while shopping, this habit could detrimental. This is because many people are salary earners, and when they keep buying good spontaneously, they inadvertently incur debts on themselves. Some are indebted to financial institutions, who charge them heavy interest rate, for purchasing products they do not really need. To illustrate, having gotten two deep freezers at home, I recently got a loan from the bank to buy another. This is just to satisfy of urge of always going to the LG showroom in my area. Unfortunately, servicing these loans eats people up, a they might not be able to meet some important needs. To conclude, the cause of the joy people display while shopping might be linked to the increased ads seen these days. How be it, this is a negative development, because of the high rate of indebtedness been observed.
In the recent times, the number of
people
who shop for fun,
rather
than for necessities is on the rise. This could be due to the increased advertisements, this action is definitely not a
positive
advancement.

To
begin
with, on of the reasons this is
so
is
because
, the number of advertisements has increased
tremendously
.
As a result
, more and more citizens are
bought
over, wanting to
own
these products in their homes.
Therefore
, the fulfillment of this quest
makes
people
see
purchasing as fun, these days.
For instance
, my friend, who is a banker, goes shopping every other day,
just
to
buy
what she
saw
the on the advert the previous day. She takes pictures while buying them and upload the photos on her social platforms. This gives her
so
much joy.

Nevertheless
, despite the satisfaction experienced while shopping, this habit could detrimental. This is
because
many
people
are salary earners, and when they
keep
buying
good
spontaneously
, they
inadvertently
incur debts on themselves.
Some
are indebted
to financial institutions, who charge them heavy interest rate, for purchasing products they do not
really
need. To illustrate, having gotten two deep freezers at home, I recently
got
a loan from the bank to
buy
another. This is
just
to satisfy of urge of always going to the LG showroom in my area. Unfortunately, servicing these loans eats
people
up,
a they
might not be able to
meet
some
important
needs.

To conclude
, the cause of the joy
people
display while shopping might
be linked
to the increased ads
seen
these days. How be it, this is a
negative
development,
because
of the high rate of indebtedness
been observed
.
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IELTS essay *In many places, shopping is seen as a form of enjoyment rather than a thing of need? * *Why is this happening? * *Is this a positive or negative development? *

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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