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In many places, people’s life style is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships.

In many places, people’s life style is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. g53Ll
In these days and ages, it is true that people’s lifestyle has changed significantly. These changes bring about some benefits. However, I believe that the merits it offers are outweighed by its demerits. On one hand, the new lifestyle has some certain values. Firstly, in terms of the economy. Normally, the husband is the breadwinner of the family and the wives stay at home and take good care of their children as well as do all the domestic tasks. However, under the influence of the foreign cultures, these days women can also bring home the bacon and partly contribute to the well-being of the family. In addition, since the total income of the family is increased, not only they are able to have a better living standard, but the children are also provided with a more quality education system. On the other hand, I suppose the drawbacks of the shifting in behaviour would eclipse those analysed advantages. This is highly exemplified by the reduction of family bonding time. As the matter of fact, since the parents are busy focusing on their jobs, the time that they spend with their children and family in general will be shortened. As the result, their kids will lack of attention as well essential education from their parents, and they might end up being spoiled kids. Furthermore, the sentimental between the husband and wife will eventually go down because they do not spend enough of quality time together and this can lead to an unwanted result, which is divorced. In conclusion, the upside of the new way of living is undeniable. Nevertheless, I would stand my point that the drawbacks of this behaviour are more significant.
In these days and ages, it is true that
people
’s lifestyle has
changed
significantly
. These
changes
bring about
some
benefits.
However
, I believe that the merits it offers
are outweighed
by its demerits.

On one hand, the new lifestyle has
some
certain values.
Firstly
, in terms of the economy.
Normally
, the husband is the breadwinner of the
family
and the wives stay at home and take
good
care of their children
as well
as do all the domestic tasks.
However
, under the influence of the foreign cultures, these days women can
also
bring home the bacon and partly contribute to the well-being of the
family
.
In addition
, since the total income of the
family
is increased
, not
only
they are able to have a better living standard,
but
the children are
also
provided with a more quality education system.

On the other hand
, I suppose the drawbacks of the shifting in
behaviour
would eclipse those
analysed
advantages. This is
highly
exemplified by the reduction of
family
bonding time. As the matter of fact, since the parents are busy focusing on their jobs, the time that they spend with their children and
family
in general
will
be shortened
. As the result, their kids will lack of attention
as well
essential education from their parents, and they might
end
up
being spoiled
kids.
Furthermore
, the sentimental between the husband and wife will
eventually
go down
because
they do not spend
enough
of quality time together and this can lead to an unwanted result, which
is divorced
.

In conclusion
, the upside of the new way of living is undeniable.
Nevertheless
, I would stand my point that the drawbacks of this
behaviour
are more significant.
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IELTS essay In many places, people’s life style is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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