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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.4

Home is one of the basic needs for every people. Although it is basic needs and no space available in town but some people argue that build new house in country site is not good at all. Since it is very sensitive issue so before give any opinion, I will discuss both point of view. On the one hand, town is now full of population all over the world. However, living in town is now too much congesting and day by day population are increasing. For huge amount population sometime government can’t control everything. For example, Dhaka and Mumbai are best example for it, for over population crime is increasing gradually. Whatever, if government can transfer people to countryside then lot of opportunity will also go with it. New work will available, new road, new facilities will be available in country side. So, countryside’s people’s life will be more developed. On the other hand, if people transfer to the country side and start building house every place without any control then it will create a big trouble. For example, most of the food production is country side, if no control to build home then farmer will unable to produce crops for feed. Moreover, not only farming land will be damage but also lots of trees need to be cut down. So, it will affect on environment as will. In conclusion, I would like to say, since home needed for every people and no available place to build new home in town so it is only option to transfer people to countryside. But government need to control everything and need to monitor strictly with experts so everything will be fine.
Home is one of the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although it is basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and no space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
site is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at all. Since it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
give any opinion, I will discuss both point of view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
all over the world.
However
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
too much congesting and day by day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are increasing. For huge amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
everything.
For example
, Dhaka and Mumbai
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
example for it, for over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
crime is increasing
gradually
. Whatever, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to countryside then lot of opportunity will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
work will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
road,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
facilities will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, countryside’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life will be more developed.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transfer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
every place without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
then it will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trouble.
For example
, most of the food production is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side, if no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
to build home then farmer
Did you mean "will be unable"?
will unable
to produce crops for feed.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
farming land will be damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lots of trees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on environment as will.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, since home needed for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
place to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option to transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
everything and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to monitor
strictly
with experts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everything will be fine.
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IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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