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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion? v.52

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion? v. 52
Although the demand for housing is increasing, there is no open space available for their construction except in the countryside. However, some people argue that the countryside should be protected from construction activity. I disagree with them. In my opinion, it is important to build homes on the outskirts of cities. First and foremost, cities have become over crowded due to urbanization and free space is only available in the countryside. More and more people are migrating to cities for a better future and hence the space available for construction has already been used. To meet this demand for land, people are turning to the countryside. Many customers also want to buy homes in the countryside because they are more affordable. Also, pollution is not really an issue in rural areas. Hence, people opting to live in the countryside can buy spacious homes built amidst natural greenery. In addition to this, if construction is done in the areas away from the city we can reduce the negative effects of urbanization. Due to overcrowding in cities, people face not only traffic congestion but also pollution. For example, in a South Indian city, a 40% improvement in air quality was observed after they started building homes in the peripheral areas of the city instead of in the centre. Thus, to improve the quality of life in the urban area it is a better solution. However, there should be strict rules regarding the construction of homes in the countryside. Homes should be built with proper ventilation and there should be vegetation zones and free spaces between houses to prevent the bad impact of construction in those areas. In conclusion, as population is continuously moving to cities for better prospects, there is a simultaneous increase in the demand for shelters. Therefore, the countryside can be utilised for this purpose and to curb the effects of overcrowding in cities.
Although the demand for housing is increasing, there is no open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
available for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
except in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be protected
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
activity. I disagree with them. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
on the outskirts of cities.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have become over crowded due to urbanization and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for a better future and
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
has already been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this demand for land,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are turning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
customers
also
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more affordable.
Also
, pollution is not
really
an issue in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
built amidst natural greenery.
In addition
to this, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
is done
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
away from the city we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of urbanization. Due to overcrowding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traffic congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pollution.
For example
, in a South Indian city, a 40% improvement in air quality
was observed
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the peripheral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the city
instead
of in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Thus
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
it is a better solution.

However
, there should be strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Homes
should
be built
with proper ventilation and there should be vegetation zones and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
in those areas.

In conclusion
, as population is
continuously
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for better prospects, there is a simultaneous increase in the demand for shelters.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for this purpose and to curb the effects of overcrowding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion? v. 52

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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