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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.51

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 51
There has been an ongoing debate where to build an inhabitant for the people in the metropolis as having no space left in the urban areas. However, some people perceive that this land is available in the rural areas only which must be utilized for the agricultural and forest. This essay will discuss my stance with supporting arguments in the below paragraphs. To begin with, the predominate reason behind to salvage the rural areas is that these places are the home for the animals. If this will be used by the mankind for their residential purpose, then both must pass from many challenges. Although, this living entity would be considered as a crucial part to manage the food chain; their numbers are declining. For example, Research conducted shows that in the recent times, the number of zoos is rising is the impact of the deforestation and there would be no space available for their living. Furthermore, this area helps to control the damage provided by the pollution generated in the metropolis. The trees will help to reduce the temperature and expands the possibilities of the rain which would be helpful for the growth of the crop. Moreover, this area can be utilized for the cropping, which deliver the food to the citified area. This will be used to build new homes than this part would be passed far to the cities. As a result, it would raise the price due to the transportation. For instance, a person living in the mega-cities has expenses are increasing exorbitantly due to the daily need product prices were higher compared to the past such as vegetables, milk. In conclusion, a home is the basic need of the mankind. As per my opinion, the rural area which gives shelter to the animals and the place where we can grow our food. So, this would be saved otherwise create a detrimental effect on the food and the environment.
There has been an ongoing debate where to build an inhabitant for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the metropolis as having no space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive that this land is available in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be utilized
for the agricultural and forest. This essay will discuss my stance with supporting arguments in the below paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominate reason behind to salvage the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is that these places are the home for the animals. If this will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the mankind for their residential purpose, then both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pass from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges. Although, this living entity would
be considered
as a crucial part to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain; their numbers are declining.
For example
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in the recent times, the number of zoos is rising is the impact of the deforestation and there would be no space available for their living.

Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to control the damage provided by the pollution generated in the metropolis. The trees will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the temperature and expands the possibilities of the rain which would be helpful for the growth of the crop.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can
be utilized
for the cropping, which deliver the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to the citified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. This will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build new homes than this part would
be passed
far to the cities.
As a result
, it would raise the price due to the transportation.
For instance
, a person living in the mega-cities has expenses are increasing
exorbitantly
due to the daily need product prices were higher compared to the past such as vegetables, milk.

In conclusion
, a home is the basic need of the mankind. As per my opinion, the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
which gives shelter to the animals and the place where we can grow our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this would
be saved
otherwise
create a detrimental effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the environment.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 51

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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