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In many places New home is needed but only country side is there. Some say that it is important to protect country side so not build the houses there. What is your opinion.?

In many places New home is needed but only country side is there. Some say that it is important to protect country side so not build the houses there. What is your opinion. ? WmRAq
In many regions, new housing are necessary, but the countryside space is the only space to build the. Many men and women think that it is vital to give the protection to the rural areas, and we should not have to construct new buildings for living there. This essay totally agree with the statement because deforestation increases global warming effects, and depletion of natural resources rises. When we are cutting down more trees the carbon dioxide level increases, which cause the hotness of this planet. This is because trees absorb these green house gases and protect our earth from the green house effect. As a result, we can reduce these gas molecules, which decreases the warmness of the earth. For instance, The Times of India reported last week that in Vrindavan, which is the village far from the city, people constructed buildings for residential purpose before one year, but in this one year, they are facing the problem of hot environment, as they had cut down many trees for it. The weather forecast media reported that before one year, the temperature was 20 to 25 degree celsius, but every 3 months there was a rise in temperature by 3 percent, ans now it was 35 degree celsius. Another reason why we should have to protect these rural areas is that we can protect coal, oil, water, which are the natural resources. When there are more people for living, they use these sources tremendously, and therefore they deplete from our earth soon. For instance,  recent survey found that in  Pavagath areas which are in rural side. The government has built more than 50 buildings 2 years ago. The persons' utilization was increasing day by day. The data showed that people purchased the coal from other regions because there were no forests at all. In conclusion, there is a need to make new houses in some places, ans these areas only countryside, but it is crucial to protect it because without trees, we have to face the problems of planet's warm atmosphere, and when the natural resources are depleted, it will harm to human beings.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions, new housing are necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the countryside space is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
space to build
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is vital to give the protection to the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and we should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
construct new buildings for living there. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
deforestation increases global warming effects, and depletion of natural resources rises. When we are cutting down more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
the carbon dioxide level increases, which cause the hotness of this planet. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
absorb these green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
our earth from the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect.
As a result
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these gas molecules, which decreases the warmness of the earth.
For instance
, The Times of India reported last week that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vrindavan
, which is the village far from the city,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
constructed buildings for residential purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, they are facing the problem of hot environment, as they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
for it. The weather forecast media reported that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the temperature was 20 to 25 degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every 3 months there was a rise in temperature by 3 percent, ans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it was 35 degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
.

Another reason why we should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
these rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
coal, oil, water, which are the natural resources. When there are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for living, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these sources
tremendously
, and
therefore
they deplete from our earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
For instance
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
recent survey found that in
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pavagath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are in rural side. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has built more than 50 buildings 2 years ago. The persons' utilization was increasing day by day.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
the coal from other regions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were no forests at all.

In conclusion
, there is a need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, ans these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
countryside,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is crucial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the problems of planet's warm atmosphere, and when the natural resources
are depleted
, it will harm to human beings.
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IELTS essay In many places New home is needed but only country side is there. Some say that it is important to protect country side so not build the houses there. What is your opinion. ?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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