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IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, PEOPLE LOOK UP THEIR FAMILY HISTORY. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT RESEARCHING PREVIOUS GENERATIONS IS A GOOD IDEA BUT OTHERS THINK IT IS BETTER TO BE FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT AND FUTURE GENERATIONS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, PEOPLE LOOK UP THEIR FAMILY HISTORY. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT RESEARCHING PREVIOUS GENERATIONS IS A GOOD IDEA BUT OTHERS THINK IT IS BETTER TO BE FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT AND FUTURE GENERATIONS. 2rWqb
People the entire world, wants to know about their ancestors and family history. Many people believe that researching descendant and family history is better conception. Other opines that, they cannot be aiming at the current and future generation. In my opinion, there is depends on person to person. So, consequently, we will discuss both the views in below paragraphs. On one hand, there are a number of people researching their family background because of, they proud of the ancestors their glorious history. For instance, mainly diseases. There are some diseases came from heredity. They want to come to know about diseases. So, they can lead it in the future. Moreover, some people think that they can follow their past culture and tradition. Therefore, they wish to learn their forefather. On other hand, there are numerous people do not want to know research their forefather and family history because of, they do not to feel embarrassing and some disturbing information reveal their ancestors. And there is no need to have a glorious family. They cannot change their past history, additionally, past is past and do not wasting time in family research ancient history. Consequently, they need to focus on present and future generation. It is inevitable; people should do how to overcome their goal. To sum up, every people have a right to learn about their forefather. So, discovering their history. But, On the contrary, people should not research their ancestor’s history and they focus on their future and current.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
the entire world, wants to know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that researching descendant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is better conception. Other opines that, they cannot be aiming at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation. In my opinion, there is depends on person to person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
consequently
, we will discuss both the views in below paragraphs.

On one hand, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
researching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of, they proud of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
their glorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
For instance
,
mainly
diseases. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases came from heredity. They want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can lead it in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
culture and tradition.
Therefore
, they wish to learn their forefather.

On other hand, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to know research their forefather and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of, they do not to feel embarrassing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disturbing information reveal their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
. And there is no need to have a glorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "waste"?
wasting
time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
research ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Consequently
, they need to focus on present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation. It is inevitable;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do how to overcome their goal.

To sum up, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a right to learn about their forefather.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, discovering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not research their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestor’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
they focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
.
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IELTS essay IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, PEOPLE LOOK UP THEIR FAMILY HISTORY. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT RESEARCHING PREVIOUS GENERATIONS IS A GOOD IDEA BUT OTHERS THINK IT IS BETTER TO BE FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT AND FUTURE GENERATIONS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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