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In many developed countries more than 30% of the population is obese. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

In many developed countries more than 30% of the population is obese. What do you think are the causes of this problem? 56L3n
In recent years, there are numerous problems related to public healthiness in many developed countries particularly correlated to obesity concern which become a major problem and it may lead to another chronic disease such as diabetes, stroke, and heart disease. This essay will present a couple of reasons with some truths to sustain the statements. The number one cause of obesity is from the external aspect which is excessive consumption of junk food. As we know that junk food does not have balanced nutrition which most of the contents are calories and it will become fat when our body cannot burn it anymore. As a result, people who consume junk food regularly will uncontrollably gain their body weight. This matter is compounded when we have junk food immediately before sleep because the body does not get an opportunity to burn it. Also, for some people who spend an entire day on a chair and decide not to do any work out which lack of physical activity can lead to obesity. Another cause of obesity is from the internal aspect which is an inherited genetic factor from blood relation due to mutation of the genes so it is not working as well as it should. This is very possible, thus whatever is eaten by them will become fat that accumulates in their body, even though these people have maintained a healthy diet and life or even do exercise consistently but due to the genetic factor, then it will be difficult to avoided and requires special medical treatment. To conclude, obesity matter is not only caused by lifestyle but can also be caused by hereditary factors that inevitable.
In recent years, there are numerous problems related to public healthiness in
many
developed countries
particularly
correlated to obesity concern which become a major problem and it may lead to another chronic disease such as diabetes, stroke, and heart disease. This essay will present a couple of reasons with
some
truths to sustain the statements.

The number one cause of obesity is from the external aspect which is excessive consumption of
junk
food
. As we know that
junk
food
does not have balanced nutrition which most of the contents are calories and it will become
fat
when our
body
cannot burn it anymore.
As a result
,
people
who consume
junk
food
regularly
will
uncontrollably
gain their
body
weight. This matter
is compounded
when we have
junk
food
immediately
before
sleep
because
the
body
does not
get
an opportunity to burn it.
Also
, for
some
people
who spend an entire day on a chair and decide not to do any work out which lack of physical activity can lead to obesity.

Another cause of obesity is from the internal aspect which is an inherited genetic factor from blood relation due to mutation of the genes
so
it is not working
as well
as it should. This is
very
possible,
thus
whatever
is eaten
by them will become
fat
that accumulates in their
body
,
even though
these
people
have maintained a healthy diet and life or even do exercise
consistently
but
due to the genetic factor, then it will be difficult to avoided and requires special medical treatment.

To conclude
, obesity matter is not
only
caused by lifestyle
but
can
also
be caused
by hereditary factors that inevitable.
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IELTS essay In many developed countries more than 30% of the population is obese. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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