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In many country wedding are getting bigger and expensive than past. Why is ths case and is this a postive and negative development ?

In many country wedding are getting bigger and expensive than past. Why is ths case and is this a postive and negative development? 56kAD
Nowadays, marriages get bigger and costly than ever before it in many nations. It has trend among society to show their status by spending money on wedding. However, celebrate those occasion has both good as well as bad thing on a person's life. There are numerous reasons behind this. First and foremost, today people have alot of choices to celebrate marriage functions according to their interest whereas, in the past they had only one choice to enjoy this is that at home. Secondly, everyone want to show their status in the community so that they spend large amount of money on those wedding by using different type of cousins, organise live performance and many more things which attract the people. Apart from this, people have became workholic. They do not have enough time to get together which make their bond stronger. As a result, they celebrate different functions spend money on it. Furthermore, celebrations those occasion has both positive and negative effects among individuals and society. Firstly, due to global culture people forget their own culture and customs. They follow western culture which is not wrong thing in this modern era but it is the ons of both government and parents to touch with their own roots instead of anothers culture. Last but not the least, is is the good method to make realtionship strong because people met each others and share their happiness and sorrows with them. In conclusion, in this hectic world celebration is best idea to enjoy the life with eachothers. It is the duty of people do not spend enough money to celebrate those function in which they face the problem of debt.
Nowadays, marriages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger and costly than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. It has trend among society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on wedding.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
those occasion has both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing on a person's life.

There are numerous reasons behind this.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of choices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
marriage functions according to their interest whereas, in the past they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one choice to enjoy this is that at home.
Secondly
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status in the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they spend large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on those wedding by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of cousins,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
performance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things which attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use past participle here: "become".
became
Possible spelling mistake found.
workholic
. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their bond stronger.
As a result
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
functions spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it.

Furthermore
, celebrations those occasion has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects among individuals and society.
Firstly
, due to global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs. They follow western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thing in this modern era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ons
of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and parents to touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
roots
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
anothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtionship
strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
met each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and share their happiness and sorrows with them.

In conclusion
, in this hectic world celebration
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to enjoy the life with
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachothers
. It is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
those function in which they face the problem of debt.
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IELTS essay In many country wedding are getting bigger and expensive than past. Why is ths case and is this a postive and negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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