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some believe that government should provide free health care.However some think that government may not able to provide health care and people should pat for it. what do you think?

some believe that government should provide free health care. However some think that government may not able to provide health care and people should pat for it. what do you think? Lr3wr
Authorities find it challenging to subsidies the health care system, due to the increase of financial requirement, which in turn, drives some people to suggest that the patients should provide themselves, on the other hand, others insist that health care should be governmental responsibility. Health care is fundamental for any community, and it is considered the bed rock of the society security and future, hence the government should create strong medical infrastructure that is able to confront the citizens emergences and medical needs. Furthermore, the health care should include free medicine and vaccines. Besides high qualified staff to guarantee appropriate medical care and possessional service. In terms of providing medical sector, government needs unprecedented measures to tackle this problem. For example, reorganization of the country budget to be spent on health system rather than weapons and war preparations. Evenmore, it should encourage private investment in medial care. The other approach, which claims individuals to provide the health insurance on their own, represents the injustice for many reasons. Firstly, citizens pay taxes for their regimes, thus they expect convenient services especially when it comes to basics of life such as education and health. Secondly, this notion generates inequality of opportunity because people don't possess the same financial abilities to afford health care. Finally, this concept brings hazardous ramifications to the society and produces disastrous implications, such as the absence of affiliation owing to that people will feel that their county is not care about them. In conclusion, health care system is crucial for any society seek to ameliorate its present and secure its future. In addition, if there is not efficient and free health, people will suffer from illness and endure compromised health. Consequently, the community will lose his best element which is the human competence.
Authorities find it challenging to subsidies the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system, due to the increase of financial requirement, which in turn, drives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to suggest that the patients should provide themselves,
on the other hand
, others insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should be governmental responsibility.

Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is fundamental for any community, and it
is considered
the bed rock of the society security and future,
hence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
infrastructure
that is
able to confront the citizens
Possible spelling mistake found.
emergences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
needs.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should include free medicine and vaccines.
Besides
high qualified staff to guarantee appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
possessional
service.

In terms of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs unprecedented measures to tackle this problem.
For example
, reorganization of the country budget to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system
rather
than weapons and war preparations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Evenmore
, it should encourage private investment in medial care.

The other approach, which claims individuals to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, represents the injustice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, citizens pay taxes for their regimes,
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
convenient services
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to basics of life such as education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Secondly
, this notion generates inequality of opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't possess the same financial abilities to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

Finally
, this concept brings hazardous ramifications to the society and produces disastrous implications, such as the absence of affiliation owing to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel that their county is not
Consider using a past participle here: "cared".
care
about them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system is crucial for any society seek to ameliorate its present and secure its future.
In addition
, if there is not efficient and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will suffer from illness and endure compromised health.

Consequently
, the community will lose his best element which is the human competence.
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IELTS essay some believe that government should provide free health care. However some think that government may not able to provide health care and people should pat for it. what do you think?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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