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Is Education the only critical Factor to the Development of a Country?

Is Education the only critical Factor to the Development of a Country? aw7Em
“Education is the root for a healthy community. Education gives knowledge and prepares our children for a better future. ” said Chitra Subramanian. That is why some large parts around Asia nowadays mostly take an eye on developing the education system in order to ensure their country development. However, I intensely disagree with that perspective because developing a country does not only strengthen one aspect of the social issues, but also have to consider about living condition, security, and equality. Initially, what will happen if there is a big gap between the balance of poor living condition and best education system? Children, who come from the remote areas have to fight with many issues while they are on their miserably hard way coming to school. Take students in the south central of Phu yen- Vietnam as an example, they have to cross the 15-meter-wide river with their schoolbags and uniforms into plastic bags so as to reach the other side every day, which is the main reason for almost students there drop out of their schooling. Moreover, poverty also is the core factor leads student left school to work because they are not able to pay the tuition fees; especially in Vietnam, there does not have any loans for secondary, or high school students. Hence, the education system does not flourish as predicted. There will have more uneducated people, who cannot join in any soft skills, or even hard skills training; Almost of them are unemployed, which is the high rate for crimes from all over the world. Secondly, security is also the factor leads the stabilization of the country. One nation cannot flourish even when it has the most modern teaching program. Take Pakistan education system as an example, though this country also use the up-to-date teaching methods, it also cannot be grown and developed because of its jihad. Consequently, Pakistan is recently known as one of the most dangerous and unsafe country to live. Besides, try to imagine how our kids can pay all their attention to study, if there are bunch of violent threats. “Eighty percent of students say they have suffered from gender-based violence at least once, while 71 percent of students have been affected by school violence in the last six months. ” According to a survey in Vietnam That points out the high alarm of violence in schools not only from Vietnam, but also from other countries. Furthermore, another hard-solving problem is that there still has many kidnaps, which worried parents a lot. The kidnappers take students to their private place by magic skills, and then they make a phone call to parents to tell them give a big amount of money, or their children will die. The authorities should put necessary measures in place to secure schools across the country in view of the emerging security challenges. Finally, gender equality, religion, and living areas are extremely useful to go along with education to get the equal studying environment. On one hand, the discrimination between boys and girls in schools became a highlight issue around the 19th to the 20th century. Now, there is likely to discriminate between the normal sex, and the homosexual. The LGBT- les, gay, bisexual, and transgender- is often known as a homosexual society, which is mostly being discriminated by classmates, colleagues, family, and even teachers. “People would pound on the GSA doors, people would join to make fun of us, we’d put up posters and they’d get written on and torn down, ” said Ethan B. , a 16- year-old transgender boy in Texas. “We complained but the administration said they couldn’t do anything. ” The same-sex marriage is available in US nowadays. However, in many developing countries, homosexual people still have to face with a lot of harassments, and discriminations. It is not equal for them because every person on this planet has the right to live, go to school, and grow up. Governments should have more consideration about the rights for LGBT to be themselves like other people. On another hand, the discrimination among religions also need taking into a consideration. For example, the Catholicism, and the Buddhism attack each other because Writing4_Finalpaper_Do Anh Hao_01501027 5 of different beliefs. Moreover, students also afraid to talk with other friends in school, who has different beliefs because there may have some wars, if one person accidentally talk wrong things about their friends’ religion. Furthermore, The difference among living areas is also one of the main factors making war. Most people from the urban do not like people, who come from the suburban because they think that they have no similarities. " When we started out we had a few whites in our area, but within a few years they all moved out, " said Lewis Anderson. " For us African Americans when we see a group of white people move to the neighborhood we think that' s good, we' re cool with that. But for many white families that' s not the case - they start to get discouraged, they start to worry about the property value and leave. " The discrimination between the black, and the white has been set up for a long time. They do not want to live, work, or even talk with another. Kids always be in this situation, they are always discriminated from another bigger group. For example, some African students only play together in the small group because they are not allowed to join in a white group. In this case, Raising citizen awareness is the thing that is exceedingly urgent for one country to put it on top. To conclude, three above-mentioned aspects represent for all of the issues, which need considering together by the government in order to reinforce the country. Education is an extremely important and necessary for one country to strengthen it as much as possible, but it has to go along with other aspects. “Together we can change the world”. If the authority is unaffordable to clarify these problems, there will come about some unexpected situations in the future.
“Education
is the root for a healthy community.
Education
gives knowledge and

prepares our children for a better future. ” said
Chitra
Subramanian
.
That is
why
some


large parts around Asia nowadays
mostly
take an eye on developing the
education
system

in order to ensure their
country
development.
However
, I
intensely
disagree with that

perspective
because
developing a
country
does not
only
strengthen one aspect of the

social
issues
,
but
also
have to
consider about living
condition, security, and equality.

Initially
, what will happen if there is a
big
gap between the balance of poor living

condition and best
education
system? Children, who
come
from the remote
areas
have to


fight with
many
issues
while they are on their
miserably
hard
way coming to
school
. Take

students in the south central of
Phu
yen- Vietnam as an
example
, they
have to
cross the

15-meter-wide river with their schoolbags and uniforms into plastic bags
so as to
reach

the
other
side every day, which is the main reason for almost
students
there drop out of

their schooling.
Moreover
, poverty
also
is the core factor leads
student
left
school
to work

because
they are not able to pay the tuition fees;
especially
in Vietnam, there does not

have any loans for secondary, or high
school
students
.
Hence
, the
education
system does

not flourish as predicted. There will have more uneducated
people
, who cannot
join
in any

soft
skills
, or even
hard
skills
training; Almost of them
are unemployed
, which is the high

rate for crimes from all over the world.

Secondly
, security is
also
the factor leads the stabilization of the
country
. One

nation cannot flourish even when it has the most modern teaching program. Take Pakistan

education system as an
example
, though this
country
also
use
the up-to-date teaching

methods, it
also
cannot
be grown
and developed
because
of its jihad.
Consequently
,

Pakistan is recently known as one of the most
dangerous
and unsafe
country
to
live
.

Besides
, try to imagine how our kids can pay all their attention to study, if there are
bunch of
violent threats.

“Eighty percent of
students
say they have suffered from gender-based violence at

least once, while 71 percent of
students
have been
affected
by
school
violence in

the last six months. ” According to a survey in Vietnam

That points out the high alarm of violence in
schools
not
only
from Vietnam,
but
also


from
other
countries.

Furthermore
, another
hard
-solving problem is that there
still
has
many
kidnaps, which

worried parents a lot. The kidnappers take
students
to their private place by magic
skills
,

and
then they
make
a phone call to parents to
tell
them give a
big
amount of money, or

their children will
die
. The authorities should put necessary measures in place to secure

schools across the
country
in view of the emerging security challenges.

Finally
, gender equality, religion, and living
areas
are
extremely
useful to go along

with
education
to
get
the equal studying environment. On one hand, the discrimination

between boys and girls in
schools
became a highlight
issue
around the 19th to the 20th

century.
Now
, there is likely to discriminate between the normal sex, and the homosexual.

The LGBT-
les
, gay, bisexual, and transgender- is
often
known as a homosexual society,

which is
mostly
being discriminated
by classmates, colleagues, family, and even teachers.

People
would pound on the GSA doors,
people
would
join
to
make
fun of us,

we’d put up
posters and
they’d
get
written on and torn down,
said Ethan B.
,
a 16-

year-
old
transgender boy in Texas. “We complained
but
the administration said

they couldn’t do anything. ”

The same-sex marriage is available in US nowadays.
However
, in
many
developing

countries, homosexual
people
still
have to
face with
a lot of
harassments
, and

discriminations. It is not equal for them
because
every person on this planet has the right

to
live
, go to
school
, and grow up.
Governments
should have more consideration about

the rights for LGBT to be themselves like
other
people
.

On another hand, the discrimination among religions
also
need taking into a

consideration. For
example
, the Catholicism, and the Buddhism attack each
other
because


Writing4_
Finalpaper_Do
Anh
Hao
_01501027 5

of
different
beliefs.
Moreover
,
students
also
afraid to talk with
other
friends in school,

who has
different
beliefs
because
there may have
some
wars, if one person
accidentally


talk
wrong
things about their friends’ religion.

Furthermore
, The difference among living
areas
is
also
one of the main factors making

war. Most
people
from the urban do not like
people
, who
come
from the suburban

because
they
think
that they have no similarities.

&quot
; When we
started
out
we had a few whites in our
area
,
but
within a few years they

all
moved
out,
&quot
; said Lewis Anderson.

&quot
; For us African Americans when we
see
a group of white
people
move
to the

neighborhood we
think
that&
#39; s
good
,
we&
#39; re cool with that.
But
for
many
white

families
that&
#39; s not the case
-
they
start
to
get
discouraged, they
start
to worry about

the property value and
leave
.
&quot
;

The discrimination between the black, and the white has
been set
up for a long time. They

do not want to
live
, work, or even talk with another. Kids always be in this situation, they

are always discriminated from another bigger group. For
example
,
some
African students

only
play together in the
small
group
because
they are not
allowed
to
join
in a white

group.
In this case
, Raising citizen awareness is the thing
that is
exceedingly
urgent for

one
country
to put it on top.

To conclude
, three above-mentioned aspects represent for
all of the
issues
, which

need considering together by the
government
in order to reinforce the
country
. Education

is an
extremely
important
and necessary for one
country
to strengthen it as much as

possible,
but
it
has to
go along with
other
aspects. “Together we can
change
the world”. If

the authority is unaffordable to clarify these problems, there will
come
about
some


unexpected situations in the future.
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IELTS essay Is Education the only critical Factor to the Development of a Country?

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
1012 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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