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In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the new born. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the disadvantages?

- [ ] Most of all countries, all ladies are approved from their jobs for maternity leave for one month after the new birth. According to my perceptive, all women must leave for one month after pregnancy and pros outweigh the cons. I will discuss above notion further in subsequent paragraphs - [ ] Firstly, one of the most positive impact of maternity leave, job is secure. So women don’t have to worry about their job. They have to worry at that time when companies didn’t approve her leave and consequently, Vacancy may filled up and ladies might lose their job. Secondly, women have to pamper and nurture his or her baby and one of most consequential thing is babies couldn’t consume anything when he or she is just born. Babies must needed mother’s milk apparently, When baby is crying and starving at that time mother have to feed milk through her breast. Significantly, at least for one month, mother must live with her baby. - [ ] Besides, maternity leave is advantageous for the mother herself. A lady needs to go with exceptionally distressing time genuinely, inwardly, and monetarily during pregnancy period. Subsequently, if ladies are permitted maternity leave, they can care for their wellbeing. - [ ] To summarize, I emphasize my assessment saying that the hindrances of maternity leave are irrelevant step for women. That is the reason a few nations have stepped forward and permitted maternity leave to ladies after labor
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
[ ] Most of all countries, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
are approved
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for one month after the new birth. According to my perceptive, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for one month after pregnancy and pros outweigh the cons. I will discuss above notion
further
in subsequent
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
paragraphs


Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
[ ]
Firstly
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is secure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry at that time when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
didn’t approve her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
and
consequently
, Vacancy may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
filled
up and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
might lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pamper and nurture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
baby and one of most consequential thing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
couldn’t consume anything when he or she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
born.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Babies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
The modal verb ‘must’ requires the verb’s base form.
needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother’s
milk
apparently
, When baby is crying and starving at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feed milk through her breast.
Significantly
, at least for one month,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with her baby.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
[ ]
Besides
, maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
is advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
herself. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lady
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
exceptionally
distressing time
genuinely
,
inwardly
, and
monetarily
during pregnancy period.
Subsequently
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
are permitted
maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
, they can care for their wellbeing.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
[ ]
To summarize
, I emphasize my assessment saying that the hindrances of maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
are irrelevant step for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
That is
the reason a few nations have stepped forward and permitted maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
after
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
labor
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IELTS essay In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the new born. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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