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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While some people consider that job satisfaction is much more important than security, others argue that having permanent job has more crucial role in our life. This essay will discuss arguments of both sides and will provide examples. Nowadays, there are diversity of jobs that people can choose. Sometimes, these choices are depend on salary, security or job satisfaction. People who prefer job satisfaction while choosing jobs consider that if people enjoy their jobs, it will enhance their productivity and keep them motivated and active. Furthermore, some companies pay subsidies, perks, bonuses, incentives to motivate their workforce. But if people work in their desired field they are more focused on their jobs and targets. Moreover, if salary is low, people should deal with many financial problems trying to tackle them. So, earning good amount of money also keeps people away from financial issues and they become fitter and less stressed. In contrast, some people claim that, permanent jobs are substantially important than job satisfaction. For instance, due to some disasters or pandemics some companies downsized their companies and many people had been made redundant. Moreover, consequently unemployment rates increased. That is why many people prefer to work in government offices. Although salary is low, they still are keen on security issues that can have adverse effects in our life if we lost our job. In addition, some companies could refuse to provide their employees with health insurance in order to avoid taxes. But in contrary, in government jobs they are much more keen on it. In conclusion, while some people think that job satisfaction is one the crucial factor for choosing job, others argue that we should guarantee our jobs taking into account security factor. Personally I think if people work in their desired field they will be more productive. Furthermore, it will affect not only employee, but also employers, so both sides will benefit.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
, others argue that having permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has more crucial role in our life. This essay will discuss arguments of both sides and will provide examples.

Nowadays, there are diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, these choices are
Consider using either the past participle “depended” or the present participle “depending” here.
depend
on salary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
while choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
consider that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, it will enhance their productivity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them motivated and active.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
pay subsidies, perks, bonuses, incentives to motivate their workforce.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in their desired field they are more focused on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and targets.
Moreover
, if salary is low,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial problems trying to tackle them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from financial
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issues and
they become fitter and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that, permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
substantially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For instance
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disasters or pandemics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
downsized their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
been made
redundant.
Moreover
,
consequently
unemployment rates increased.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices. Although salary is low, they
still
are keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
issues that can have adverse effects in our life if we lost our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could refuse to provide their employees with health insurance in order to avoid taxes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in contrary, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they are much more keen on it.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
Did you mean “one of”?
one
the crucial factor for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, others argue that we should guarantee our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
taking into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
factor.
Personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in their desired field they will be more productive.
Furthermore
, it will affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
employee,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
employers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
both sides will benefit.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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