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In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect of both families and societies. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect of both families and societies. kY67W
In the recent times, foreign junk food is not only gaining popularity but is largely preferred than usual home-cooked food. With the globalization and internationalization, most of the fast food chain of restaurants have become easily accessible and due to which old fashioned food have lost its charm. This is causing several detrimental effects to people and the community. I agree that this shift in people’s food choices would lead to various unfavorable outcomes. Processed foods are mostly consumed by youngsters who are inclining towards westernization. As part of western culture, ready to eat food is famous for its cheap cost and negligible preparation time. Although young adults are involved in declining trend of old-styled food consumption, major cultural shift has been equally responsible for it. Because children have low hunger resistance, food items like burgers, pizzas and sandwiches which require minimal preparation time attracts them. Parents tend to satisfy their adolescents’ need without proper analysis of the cons of consuming food sold in these posh restaurants. Among various adverse consequences of replacing traditional home-made food with convenience food items, severe health impact tops the list. These pre-packaged foods cause a lot of serious fitness issues and result in vitamin deficiencies. It contributes to the fat, cholesterol and glucose levels of a child which subsequently lead to parents spending extravagant amount of money towards reviving side-effects caused by the ‘ready-to-eat’ food ingredients. According to a popular research, individual who eat a lot of domestic made food are more connected to the culture and tend to remain closer to the family. Caretakers and guardians need to consider this while supporting this revolutionary shift of preferring pre-cooked food to old fashioned nourished food. I personally agree that more than reflecting adoption of western culture in food choices, population should review the health-damaging aspects of readymade food consumption.
In the recent times, foreign junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gaining popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
largely
preferred than usual home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. With the globalization and internationalization, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain of restaurants have become
easily
accessible and due to which
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
have lost its charm. This is causing several detrimental effects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the community. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this shift in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices would lead to various unfavorable outcomes.

Processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
mostly
consumed by youngsters who are inclining towards
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some nouns that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernization".
westernization
. As part of western culture, ready to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
cost and negligible preparation time. Although young adults
are involved
in declining trend of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-styled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption, major cultural shift has been
equally
responsible for it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
children have low hunger resistance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items like burgers, pizzas and sandwiches which require minimal preparation time attracts them. Parents tend to satisfy their adolescents’ need without proper analysis of the cons of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sold in these posh restaurants.

Among various adverse consequences of replacing traditional home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items, severe health impact tops the list. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
serious fitness issues and result in vitamin deficiencies. It contributes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, cholesterol and glucose levels of a child which
subsequently
lead to parents spending extravagant amount of money towards reviving
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
caused by the ‘ready-to-eat’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
ingredients. According to a popular research, individual who eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
domestic made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are more connected to the culture and tend to remain closer to the family. Caretakers and guardians need to consider this while supporting this revolutionary shift of preferring
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
nourished food.

I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that more than reflecting adoption of western culture in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices, population should review the health-damaging aspects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption.
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IELTS essay In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect of both families and societies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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