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In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music? KwnR3
Nowadays, the classical music lost the value with time. but there are some people still enjoy the classical music. Now there is a large group of people who belive that teenagers are love morden music instead of classical music. We are all know that music is part of our life. It helps people to reduce their stress. The main two type of music in the world first one is classical and second one is modern. Nowadays, such modern music like pop, Hip-Hop, jazz and rock music attract more young listeners due to their rhythm and energetic tunes. So, teenager are think that the classical music is very slow, boring and old fashioned music. All, people follow a global trend. So over the past few years, classical music has become more popular in the world. But nowadays, modern music is more popular than classical music. In the modern world, government and society do not appreciate the talent of classical music and do not give the value. Therefore, they turned their interest in classical music to modern music. I conclude that, teenager are like modern type of music rather than classical music.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lost the value with time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
there is a large group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
music.

We are all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is part of our life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The main two type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the world
first
one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
and second one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
. Nowadays, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like pop, Hip-Hop, jazz and rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
attract more young listeners due to their rhythm and energetic tunes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow, boring and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
music.

All,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow a global trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
over the past few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has become more popular in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more popular than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society do not appreciate the talent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and do not give the value.
Therefore
, they turned their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
music.

I conclude that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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