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in many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing .what problems will it causes for individuals and society?

in many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. what problems will it causes for individuals and society? PVxMd
The ratio of the elderly populace in numerous nation has been steadily intensifying. Likewise, in the fast-growing world, older people can significantly contribute some moral values to society. This essay elucidates varied problems of increasing the proportion of elderly people and its impact on individuals and society. some demographers opine that people believe a person after 50 years has infirmity and health problems, leading to high expense in health centres. in addition, government authorities need to spend one-third of the budget on medical expenses of aged people as well as on health centre infrastructure. moreover elderly once are not easily adaptable to new technological expansions, which can even affect the nations developmental process. similarly, it definitely makes a dwindle outputs in public as well as private offices. apart from these over-aged persons were sometimes become arrogant mainly because of mental stress that due to increasing age and health issues. however, these behaviour pay a path for discomfort from family members as well as a society towards golden aged ones. however the problem due to boosting in the rate of senectitude can be limited by several methods, As the government can easily introduce a scheme for health insurance for senescence which starts from their youth age to save money for wellness program and medical management so they don't need to approach any help of finance for their health care, moreover the experienced senilities in the office can be transferred to less technology required areas. furthermore, this decrepitude populace should be grouped according to the area they live thereafter some stress-relieving activities should be adopted such as meditation, yoga, clubs for laughing, oldage clubs for recreation, sports and arts clubs and consequently on. thus, to recapitulate the problem due to increasing dotage can be reduced by fostering given methods.
The ratio of the elderly populace in numerous nation has been
steadily
intensifying.
Likewise
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-growing world, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
significantly
contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moral values to society. This essay elucidates varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of increasing the proportion of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and its impact on individuals and society.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
demographers opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe a person after 50 years has infirmity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, leading to high expense in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities need to spend one-third of the budget on medical expenses of aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
infrastructure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
elderly once are not
easily
adaptable to new technological expansions, which can even affect the nations developmental process.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, it definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'dwindle' is correct. If 'dwindle' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a dwindle
outputs in public
as well
as private offices.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from these over-aged persons were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
become arrogant
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that due to increasing age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
Did you mean "this behaviour" or "these behaviours"?
these behaviour
pay a path for discomfort from family members
as well
as a society towards golden aged ones.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to boosting in the rate of
Possible spelling mistake found.
senectitude
can
be limited
by several methods, As the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
easily
introduce a scheme for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance for senescence which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from their youth age to save money for wellness program and medical management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don't need to approach any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of finance for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care,
moreover
the experienced
Possible spelling mistake found.
senilities
in the office can
be transferred
to less technology required areas.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, this decrepitude populace should
be grouped
according to the area they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
thereafter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-relieving activities should
be adopted
such as meditation, yoga, clubs for laughing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
clubs for recreation, sports and arts clubs and
consequently
on.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, to recapitulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to increasing dotage can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by fostering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
methods.

IELTS essay in many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. what problems will it causes for individuals and society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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