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In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v.2

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 2
Recently, the debate on developing economy or the other factors has become heated. It’s true that many countries would try prioritise economic growth when they are developing, but the effectiveness for doing this is actually debatable. It’s reluctant to say that there’s a lot we can gain from developing economies. Firstly, it can improve the city’s reputation. The economic growth would definitely boost the countries’s GDP, this might help gain more frame for the city. As people are usually interested in travelling to countries with the high GDP, which represent their travelling quality can be assured. Therefore, this might be favourable to the local business like the tourism and the hotels, which might further be advantageous to citizens’ quality of life, which can enhance the countries’ soft power. Secondly, it can help enhance countries’ global state. As many countries are now union together, forming UN and UNCEIF, the decisive power for the countries depends on the economic situation implicitly. For instance, when the ambassador of the Iraq was giving a speech to advocate peace, the leaders of some developed countries left before he finished his lines. Therefore, this shows that only when the economy is strong enough, the countries might have the chance to be respected by the other counties. However, we might also need to bear some consequence lead by the booming of the economy. Firstly, the environment issue might be a problem that we need to tackle with. For example, when China developed its economy with a fast pace in the early 80’s, nevertheless, the citizens are now suffering from the drawback of the over-speeding development. Citizens in northern China are bearing the serious environment problems like smog and sand hurricanes. Therefore, the environmental factor is what we might ignore when we are dedicating in developing economies. All in all, as every coin has two sides, I think it’s reasonable for the government to prioritise the economic growth. Since it might be the only way for them to get a seat globally, and this may further help their development. Moreover, once the countries is with better economic state, they might able to develop some advanced technique to solve the problems lead by the booming of the economy.
Recently, the debate on
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
or the other factors has become heated. It’s true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would
Probably a preposition is missing after 'try'.
try prioritise
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economic
growth when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the effectiveness for doing this is actually debatable.

It’s reluctant to say that there’s a lot we can gain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
.
Firstly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the city’s reputation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth would definitely boost the
Did you mean "countrie’s" or "countries’"?
countries’s
GDP, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
gain more frame for the city. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
usually
interested in travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the high GDP, which represent their travelling quality can
be assured
.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to the local business like the tourism and the hotels, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
further
be advantageous to citizens’ quality of life, which can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
soft power.

Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
global state. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
union together, forming UN and
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNCEIF
, the decisive power for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation
implicitly
.
For instance
, when the ambassador of the Iraq was giving a speech to advocate peace, the leaders of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he finished his lines.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have the chance to
be respected
by the other counties.

However
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
also
need to bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequence lead by the booming of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Firstly
, the environment issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a problem that we need to tackle with.
For example
, when China developed its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace in the early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80’s
,
nevertheless
, the citizens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
suffering from the drawback of the over-speeding development. Citizens in northern China are bearing the serious environment problems like smog and sand hurricanes.
Therefore
, the environmental factor is what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
when we are dedicating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
economies.

All in all, as every coin has two sides, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s reasonable for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth. Since it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a seat globally, and this may
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their development.
Moreover
, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is with better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
state, they
Did you mean "might be able"?
might able
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advanced technique to solve the problems lead by the booming of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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