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In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

It is irrefutable that crime rate is elevating. As compared to past few decades, nowadays, crimes have become more violent across the globe. Unemployment and ease of buying weapons, seems to be two prominent reasons; however, increasing job opportunities and strict laws can help in eradicating the aforementioned causes. It is evident that unemployment and inflation are on the rise. Majority of criminals belongs to poverty-driven households or are illiterate, due to which, employers are reluctant to employ them as employers also have many literate candidates for any-position of job. For example, for a vacancy of driver, people who have completed their tertiary education will apply along with illiterate, so clearly, employers prefer educated drivers. Also, due to rise in price, uneducated people are forced to perform crimes for feeding themselves and their families. Besides, rise in crime figures, now they are of more violent nature. The significant cause of this is easy availability of illegal weapons. There are several places in most of the countries where supply of illegal weapons, mostly guns, happen. A recent survey from University of Manford Berlin suggested that one in every three crimes is done using a weapon. However, these issues can be resolved by increasing employment for illiterates and enforcing a complete ban on illegal weapon markets. First of all, by creating new vacancies specifically for un-educated people can help them earn a living without indulging in crimes. For instance, launching some criteria for jobs where uneducated or poverty-stricken people will be employed only. Then, enforcing a complete ban and sealing illegal-weapon markets can help in lowering the violent crimes. In conclusion, unemployment, inflation and ease of procuring a weapon illegally have caused crimes rate to increase, most of which are violent in nature but creating job vacancies which targets uneducated people and banning illegal weapon markets can help in improving the situation.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is elevating. As compared to past few decades, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
across the globe. Unemployment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
, seems to be two prominent reasons;
however
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and strict laws can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in eradicating the aforementioned causes.

It is evident that unemployment and inflation are on the rise. Majority of criminals belongs to poverty-driven households or are illiterate, due to which, employers are reluctant to employ them as employers
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
literate candidates for any-position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, for a vacancy of driver,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have completed their tertiary education will apply along with illiterate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
clearly
, employers prefer educated drivers.
Also
, due to rise in price,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for feeding themselves and their families.

Besides
, rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
figures,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
nature. The significant cause of this is easy availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
. There are several places in most of the countries where supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
,
mostly
guns, happen. A recent survey from University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manford
Berlin suggested that one in every three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is done
using a weapon.

However
, these issues can
be resolved
by increasing employment for illiterates and enforcing a complete ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
markets.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, by creating new vacancies
specifically
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them earn a living without indulging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For instance
, launching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criteria for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uneducated
or poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Then, enforcing a complete ban and sealing illegal-weapon markets can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in lowering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
crimes.

In conclusion
, unemployment, inflation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of procuring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
illegally
have caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
rate to increase, most of which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
in nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancies which targets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
markets can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in improving the situation.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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