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In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower.Give the reasons and solutions

In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower. Give the reasons and solutions YNmQ
More and more young people are committing crimes in many countries. This is mainly because of the environment of the criminals as well as people who need to take care of them in their childhood. However, there can be done certain measures to solve this problem. To begin with, there are so many countries that are considered as the main source of criminals since citizens of them are mostly those who spent some part of their lives in prison. Living conditions or environment for the children growing up in these countries are suitable for criminals. Thus, the children are likely to become criminals there as the environment surrounding them is the main factor that affects them and the lives. Governments can change it by giving that children chances to live in other countries where they can have better opportunities to live. Furthermore, young people can become criminals just due to the lack of the attention. Children and teenagers need to be in the centre of the attention as in this period they can easily be attracted by anyone, even by criminals and offenders. Consequently, parents, relatives, and teachersof children and teenagers ought to be careful and give adequate attention to them in order to prevent them from being offenders in their early ages. By way of conclusion, governments and close people of children may solve the problem of young committing crimes. However, before taking measures, they need to think thoroughly.
More and more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are committing crimes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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countries
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the environment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need to take care of them in their childhood.
However
, there can
be done
certain measures to solve this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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countries
that
are considered
as the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
since citizens of them are
mostly
those who spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in prison. Living conditions or environment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
there as the environment surrounding them is the main factor that affects them and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it by giving that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in other
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countries
where they can have better opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Furthermore
, young
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people
can become
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criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
due to the lack of the attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
need to be in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the attention as in this period they can
easily
be attracted
by anyone, even by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and offenders.
Consequently
, parents, relatives, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachersof
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
ought to be careful and give adequate attention to them in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from being offenders in their early ages.

By way of conclusion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may solve the problem of young committing crimes.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking measures, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
thoroughly
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower. Give the reasons and solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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