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In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with academic subject. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with academic subject. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Bwo1V
Exercising is crucial to many students’ health. However, in several nations, physical education classes are substituted by academic ones. In my opinion, the advantages of this trend are pale in comparison with the disadvantages. Admittedly, such a replacement can yield some benefits for the performance of schoolchildren. Given a higher number of core subjects classes, such as maths, literature, or languages, students will have more time to do various types of assignments and explore aspects of the subjects that are not taught by teachers. Consequently, they can gain more knowledge and be better prepared for periodic examinations. Additionally, this educational trend also benefits low-performing children as they have more periods to cover loopholes in their understanding, thus boosting their results in tests. Apparently, this substitution at school is conducive to the academic performance of students. Nevertheless, I believe that the declining number of sports classes results in graver outcomes. First, it puts considerable stress on students’ mental well-being. The absence of physical education classes means students cannot do activities such as running, playing sports, or socializing with classmates. As a result, they would be prevented from relaxing and relieving the pressures caused by studying academic subjects. Second, the lack of exercise in the long-term may render schoolchildren to lead a sedentary lifestyle, as they are accustomed to sitting long hours to learn. If there are no changes in the school’s curriculum, these children are more prone to obesity as cardiovascular diseases as they age. Therefore, fewer sports classes pose are harmful to both the physical and mental health of students. In conclusion, my firm belief is that the demerits of this trend are weightier than its merits. Although students can study better if more time is allocated to academic subjects, it is insensible to exchange improved school results for increasing health risks.
Exercising is crucial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
health.
However
, in several nations, physical education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are substituted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
ones. In my opinion, the advantages of this trend are pale
in comparison
with the disadvantages.

Admittedly
, such a replacement can yield
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for the performance of schoolchildren.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
a higher number of core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, literature, or languages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have more time to do various types of assignments and explore aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that are not taught by teachers.
Consequently
, they can gain more knowledge and be better prepared for periodic examinations.
Additionally
, this educational trend
also
benefits low-performing children as they have more periods to cover loopholes in their understanding,
thus
boosting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
Apparently
, this substitution at school is conducive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance of students.

Nevertheless
, I believe that the declining number of sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in graver outcomes.
First
, it puts considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
mental well-being. The absence of physical education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot do activities such as running, playing sports, or socializing with classmates. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from relaxing and relieving the pressures caused by studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Second, the lack of exercise in the long-term may render schoolchildren to lead a sedentary lifestyle, as they
are accustomed
to sitting long hours to learn. If there are no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the school’s curriculum, these children are more prone to obesity as cardiovascular diseases as they age.
Therefore
, fewer sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
pose are harmful to both the physical and mental health of students.

In conclusion
, my firm belief is that the demerits of this trend are weightier than its merits. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can study better if more time
is allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it is insensible to exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
for increasing health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with academic subject. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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