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In many countries people have adopted western culture forgetting tradition ways of living. Is this a positive or a negative development.

In many countries people have adopted western culture forgetting tradition ways of living. Is this a positive or a negative development. XqNyq
Today's morden era, some people touch with old Western dress and today young generation forgetting old Western dresses culture. I totally negative with this statement. First and foremost, village people prefer old Western look because thay save nation culture. Today's adults going to foreign so they learn and looking a new dresses and they attrective this culture so they prefer western culture clothes. Some people not convert tradition culture to western culture because they value for country and national culture save. Secondly, education always play an intergal part in teaching students about patriotism, culture and history. As we know music always reflects literary and artistic heritage of a country, which help student to feel more connected to those intangible heritage of culture. To conclude that some counties people prefer tradition look and some countries people prefer tradition look because that hava a individuals choice on our lifestyle.
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Today
's
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morden
era,
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some
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people
touch with
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old
Western dress and
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today
young generation forgetting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Western dresses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I
totally
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negative
with this statement.
First
and foremost, village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Western look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
save nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's adults going to foreign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn and looking a new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dresses and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
attrective
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
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so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
clothes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not convert tradition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they value for country and national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
save.
Secondly
, education always play an
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergal
part in teaching students about patriotism,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and history. As we know music always reflects literary and artistic heritage of a country, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
student to feel more connected to those intangible heritage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
To conclude
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
counties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
tradition look and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
tradition look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
hava
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individuals choice on our lifestyle.

IELTS essay In many countries people have adopted western culture forgetting tradition ways of living. Is this a positive or a negative development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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