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Globalisation has been the buzz word of the 21st century, a concept that has always been debated due to the positive aspects such as economic growth and cultural exchange on the one hand and the depletion of national identity on the other.

Globalisation has been the buzz word of the 21st century, a concept that has always been debated due to the positive aspects such as economic growth and cultural exchange on the one hand and the depletion of national identity on the other. k37W
Globalisation has been the buzz word of the 21st century, a concept that has always been debated due to the positive aspects such as economic growth and cultural exchange on the one hand and the depletion of national identity on the other. Let us go back in history in order to understand this idea in a better way. Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization is where it all started; when nomads settled near the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. From there people migrated to various parts of the world taking with them the language, culture and beliefs of the fertile crescent and adding to it everything they learned along the way. Trade and transport evolved and the rest as we know, is history! We should remember that globalization is not a new phenomenon and us humans have always migrated looking for greener pastures. With people travelling for business and pleasure, our minds become more tolerant and our intelligences get developed. We learn about other cultures - their festivals and cuisines and we realize how similar we all are in spite of our differences. People do argue that due to this exchange, we lose our national identity. Inter-cultural marriage, encouragement for refugees and dilution of religious values are often quoted as outcomes. Nations are very proud of their history, heritage and culture. They worry that when this gets diluted, our future generations will be unaware of their roots and uncertain of what makes them unique in this world of billions of individuals. Subsequently, they desire to preserve as much of their identity as possible. In my opinion, there is no such thing as national identity. Each country is the sum product of years of borrowed culture, migration, trade, religion, tradition and language. Interactions with other countries or its citizens does not cause the loss of national identity, in fact it makes a country culturally intelligent and tolerant towards people who seem different, but really are all the same. Isn’t this tolerance the way forward in order to cure our damaged planet, ravaged with wars and diseases?
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has been the buzz word of the 21st century, a concept that has always
been debated
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects such as economic growth and cultural exchange on the one hand and the depletion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
on the other.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us go back in history in order to understand this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in a better way. Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization is where it all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
; when nomads settled near the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. From there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrated to various parts of the world taking with them the language,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and beliefs of the fertile crescent and adding to it everything they learned along the way. Trade and transport evolved and the rest as we know, is history! We should remember that
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalization' and 'globalisation') within a single text.
globalization
is not a new phenomenon and us humans have always migrated looking for greener pastures. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling for business and pleasure, our minds become more tolerant and our intelligences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
developed. We learn about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
their festivals and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cuisines and
we realize how similar we all are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
our differences.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do argue that due to this exchange, we lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. Inter-cultural marriage, encouragement for refugees and dilution of religious values are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quoted as outcomes. Nations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud of their history, heritage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. They worry that when this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
diluted, our future generations will be unaware of their roots and uncertain of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them unique in this world of billions of individuals.
Subsequently
, they desire to preserve as much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
as possible.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. Each country is the sum product of years of borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, migration, trade, religion, tradition and language. Interactions with other countries or its citizens does not cause the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
, in fact it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a country
culturally
intelligent and tolerant towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
really
are all the same. Isn’t this tolerance the way forward in order to cure our damaged planet, ravaged with wars and diseases?
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IELTS essay Globalisation has been the buzz word of the 21st century, a concept that has always been debated due to the positive aspects such as economic growth and cultural exchange on the one hand and the depletion of national identity on the other.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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