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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? m7mN
Mobile app payment for shopping is getting more popular in several countries. In my view, I consider this trend more advantageous as this provides easy payments. There are minor risks associated, however. One key advantage of cellphone-payment is that it has revolutionized the method of payment. Comparing with the recent past, people have to carry cash to pay hefty charges. Modern electronic payment excludes the case of carrying the cash burden, which has a higher risk of being robbed. Bills and utility payments, for instance, where people had to visit banks or shops and wait for hours in ques are one tap away nowadays. This certainly has changed the lifestyle and consequently getting rid of paper waste. Another point to consider, which everyone is facing is forgetting his wallet. Because people are busier than ever before, forgetting things is frequently experienced. In such cases, it is sometimes embarrassing and riskier if one has nothing to pay in his pocket except his mobile phone. For example, Apple pay offers easy paying solutions with advanced encrypted standard applications. While the Credit card paying method offers a lot of ease, there is a risk of being hacked. This situation can be awful where the assets are stolen without being tracked. Elderly people, for instance, are at the line-of-fire to be hit, but these cases are rare and can be tackled using a more secured app that requires face ID. So, people do not need to worry more about this because modern-day algorithmic solutions are secured enough. In conclusion, e-transfer has more benefits that brought ease in peoples’ life than its drawbacks.
Mobile app
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
for shopping is getting more popular in several countries. In my view, I consider this trend more advantageous as this provides easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
. There are minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated,
however
.

One key advantage of cellphone-payment is that it has revolutionized the method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
. Comparing with the recent past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry cash to pay hefty charges. Modern electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
excludes the case of carrying the cash burden, which has a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being robbed
. Bills and utility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
,
for instance
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to visit banks or shops and wait for hours in ques are one tap away nowadays. This
certainly
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the lifestyle and
consequently
getting rid of paper waste.

Another point to consider, which everyone is facing is forgetting his wallet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, forgetting things is
frequently
experienced. In such cases, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
embarrassing and riskier if one has nothing to pay in his pocket except his mobile phone.
For example
,
Did you mean the proper noun "Apple Pay"?
Apple pay
offers easy paying solutions with advanced encrypted standard applications.

While the Credit card paying method offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being hacked
. This situation can be awful where the assets
are stolen
without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
. Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
, are at the line-of-fire to
be hit
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these cases are rare and can
be tackled
using a more secured app that requires face ID.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to worry more about this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern-day algorithmic solutions
are secured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclusion
, e-transfer has more benefits that brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
life than its drawbacks.

IELTS essay In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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