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Stressed people might be offensive to their colleagues so they can hurt their feeling unintentionally. people are stressed. Stress in human life is important. About stress is how effect in human life

Stressed people might be offensive to their colleagues so they can hurt their feeling unintentionally. people are stressed. Stress in human life is important. About stress is how effect in human life g0M3
Secondly, being stressed affects people’s work life badly. Stress generally makes people feel so tense. Stressed people might be offensive to their colleagues so they can hurt their feeling unintentionally. Moreover, stressed people can not concentrate on anything. They can be bored with everything easily and it affects their success in their jobs. Furthermore stressed people can not make right decisions at work. When people are stressed, they can not consider a point effectively and they decide in hurry and make mistakes in their jobs. Lastly, stress affects people’s health. In fact stress is the main reason of being ill. It can cause health problems such as aches and heart attacks. Also, they might have physical problems like hair loss, feeling tired and losing or gaining weight. In addition, it can even damage our brain. Stress is the cause of losing cells in the human brain. According to scientists, this event can occur in the hippocampus part which collects our memories in our brain. This is the cause of the beginning of Alzheimer disease. As you can see, stress is the cause of malfunction for humans in their lives and this illness affects the psychology, work life and health of people. I strongly believe being stressed is very dangerous and it brings us only unhappiness. We should do our best to avoid it.
Secondly
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
work life
badly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tense.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be offensive to their colleagues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can hurt their feeling
unintentionally
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not concentrate on anything. They can
be bored
with everything
easily
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
affects
their success in their jobs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right decisions at work. When

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
, they can not consider a point
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effectively and
they decide in hurry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes in

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
jobs.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. In fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is the main reason of being ill. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
problems
such as aches and heart attacks.
Also
, they might have physical problems like hair loss, feeling tired

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
losing or gaining weight.
In addition
, it can even damage our brain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of losing cells
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
human brain. According to scientists, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
can occur in the hippocampus part which collects
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
our


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
memories
in our brain. This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of the beginning of Alzheimer disease.

As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of malfunction for humans in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and this illness affects the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
psychology
, work life and health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
strongly
believe being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressed
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and it brings
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
us


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
only
unhappiness. We should do our best to avoid it.

IELTS essay Stressed people might be offensive to their colleagues so they can hurt their feeling unintentionally. people are stressed. Stress in human life is important. About stress is how effect in human life

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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