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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) app is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Technology revolution is leading us to the era that never appeared in the imagination of our ancestors, especially modern tap and pay method allows us to buy products with taps of phone onto the POS machine, it is debatable that cashless payment is exposing ourselves on risk of compromising personal privacy and people rather adhere to conventional paper based payment, however using mobile phone to finalize payment seems has more advantages over traditional paper based payment, especially in the sense of lifting the restriction of payment location as well as time saving. Cashless payment has more advantages over cash payment in terms of cashless payment, in other words, paid by phone or apps allows us to execute the paying behavior online without visiting the vendor in person, for example, paying our utilities bill online is easier, simpler than visiting the governmental facilities physically, in re-shaping of paying method brings great convenience to us and undoubtedly mobile phone will gradually replace cash payment. Furthermore, cash payment will be overwhelmed by cashless payment due to it saves ample time, paying online enable us to make the payment with few taps on screen rather than queuing in front of counters, for instance, online payment made the grocery shopping less time-consuming as it would simply complete with few click on laptop, whereas cash purchase requires ones to visit and spending time at brick and mortar store, thus online payment has absolute advantage compare to conventional payment method. To conclude, paying with mobile phone offers us more flexibility on location and save more times, traditional payment has less to offer in this aspect, thus paying with apps has greater advantage than cash, in essence, apps payment is replacing cash in majority fields.
Technology revolution is leading us to the era that never appeared in the imagination of our ancestors,
especially
modern tap and pay method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products with taps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
onto the POS machine, it is debatable that cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is exposing ourselves on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of compromising personal privacy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
adhere to conventional paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
however
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to finalize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
seems has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
over traditional paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
especially
in the sense of lifting the restriction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
location
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving.

Cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
in terms of cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
in other words
, paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to execute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
behavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
without visiting the vendor in person,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
our utilities bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is easier, simpler than visiting the governmental facilities
physically
, in re-shaping of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
method brings great convenience to us and
undoubtedly
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
will
gradually
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
payment.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
will
be overwhelmed
by cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
due to it saves ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
enable us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
with few taps on screen
rather
than queuing in front of counters,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
made the grocery shopping less time-consuming as it would
simply
complete with few click on laptop, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
requires ones to visit and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at brick and mortar store,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
has absolute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
compare to conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
method.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
offers us more flexibility on location and save more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
has less to offer in this aspect,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
with apps has greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
, in essence, apps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
in majority fields.

IELTS essay In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) app is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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