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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly commun. Does this developmnent have mor advantages or mor disadvantages?

In recent years, numerous invents saw the light. For example, many applications for mobile phones which help us to do shopping and pay for what we bought on ligne. Thos apps can make our life easyer and save our time and money. However, this use of e-business could be unsafe and sometimes wast of crops. First of all, a plethora of people seek on ligne about any item they need. Then they find it easely; Furthermore, they have apps that let them pay the cost on their bed. As a result, they sae a lot of time that they can use for relaxing or looking after the small family. In addition, they could save money either. In other words, when they go to physical shopping they have to use publis transport or drive the car. So, they spend more money on transport or gas. As a result, to buy using mobile phones is faster and economic. On other hand, using internet to pay for what we have bought is extremely dangerous. To clarifay, When any body use credit card to pay, he has to enter confidential numbers on ligne; Thus, a plenty of hackers wait for this opportinity to get acces to their account's informations. As a result, they can steel from them. Additionaly, a lot of time, poeple buy somthing that they did not try and unfortunatly it did not fit for them. In this way, they lost their money. To sum up, using apps to buy and pay has a plenty of pros and cons. But, I believe that their advantages are wheighlought for their disadvantages. As my concerne, I apt for e-buy.
In recent years, numerous invents
saw
the light.
For example
,
many
applications for mobile phones which
help
us to
do shopping
and
pay
for what we
bought
on
ligne
.
Thos
apps can
make
our life
easyer
and save our time and
money
.
However
, this
use
of e-business could be unsafe and
sometimes
wast of crops.
First of all
, a plethora of
people
seek on
ligne
about any item they need. Then they find it
easely
;
Furthermore
, they have apps that
let
them
pay
the cost on their bed.
As a result
, they
sae
a lot of
time that they can
use
for relaxing or looking after the
small
family.
In addition
, they could save
money
either.
In other words
, when they go to physical shopping they
have to
use
publis
transport or drive the car.
So
, they spend more
money
on transport or gas.
As a result
, to
buy
using mobile phones is faster and economic. On other hand, using internet to
pay
for what we have
bought
is
extremely
dangerous
. To
clarifay
, When
any body
use
credit card to
pay
, he
has to
enter confidential numbers on
ligne
;
Thus
, a
plenty
of hackers wait for this
opportinity
to
get
acces
to their account's
informations
.
As a result
, they can steel from them.
Additionaly
,
a lot of
time,
poeple
buy
somthing
that they did not try and
unfortunatly
it did not fit for them. In this way, they lost their
money
. To sum up, using apps to
buy
and
pay
has a
plenty
of pros and cons.
But
, I believe that their advantages are
wheighlought
for their disadvantages. As my
concerne
,
I apt
for e-
buy
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly commun. Does this developmnent have mor advantages or mor disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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