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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

Nowadays, family responsibilities have transformed as the impact of the changing of structure. Mostly, those are related to the gender issue because the number of working moms has been increasing rapidly. In my opinion, the benefits of this transformation absolutely outweigh the drawbacks due to welfare and mental health issues. First and foremost, women need to get money through a decent job in order to help men in fulfilling household needs. This is because the rate of inflation has caused an increase in price for all of the sectors. For instance, based on the survey of statistical agency, two decades ago 70% of female chose to be a housewife and the rate of inflation was a quarter of 2020. In contrast, today 86% of women are working for a living as well as the impact of high education. Although money is not the only need, in spite of the fact that family including children also need love and time, it is obvious income has raised the family's welfare. Secondly, as the number of educated women increases, the less the number of domestic violence happens. Furthermore, men will respect gender equality and balance the household works roles. For example, a study by The University of Edinburgh claimed that compared with a decade ago, men handle more than 30% of house chores and the number of domestic violence decreased 45% as the number of working moms has dramatically rocketed. Hence, these impacts have given a quite positive ambiance for all of the family's mental health. In conclusion, the upsides of the roles of family transformation clearly overpass the downsides. However, women must be able to balance their careers with family needs such as love, time, and respect. Hence, the government and companies ought to support gender equality through working flexibility regulations.
Nowadays,
family
responsibilities have transformed as the impact of the changing of structure.
Mostly
, those
are related
to the gender issue
because
the
number
of
working
moms has been increasing
rapidly
. In my opinion, the benefits of this transformation
absolutely
outweigh the drawbacks due to welfare and mental health issues.

First
and foremost,
women
need
to
get
money through a decent job in order to
help
men
in fulfilling household
needs
. This is
because
the rate of inflation has caused an increase in price for
all of the
sectors.
For instance
, based on the survey of statistical agency, two decades ago 70% of female chose to be a housewife and the rate of inflation was a quarter of 2020.
In contrast
,
today
86% of
women
are
working
for a living
as well
as the impact of high education. Although money is not the
only
need
,
in spite of
the fact that
family
including children
also
need
love
and time, it is obvious income has raised the family's welfare.

Secondly
, as the
number
of educated
women
increases, the less the
number
of domestic violence happens.
Furthermore
,
men
will respect gender equality and balance the household works roles.
For example
, a study by The University of Edinburgh claimed that compared with a decade ago,
men
handle more than 30% of
house
chores and the
number
of domestic violence decreased 45% as the
number
of
working
moms has
dramatically
rocketed.
Hence
, these impacts have
given
a quite
positive
ambiance for
all of the
family's mental health.

In conclusion
, the upsides of the roles of
family
transformation
clearly
overpass the downsides.
However
,
women
must
be able to balance their careers with
family
needs
such as
love
, time, and respect.
Hence
, the
government
and
companies
ought to support gender equality through
working
flexibility regulations.
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IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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