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In many countries parents worry about the amount of time children spend watching TV and using the internet. What do you think are the causes of this , what solutions can you suggest

In many countries parents worry about the amount of time children spend watching TV and using the internet. What do you think are the causes of this, what solutions can you suggest 7a3B6
Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or a computer screen, therefore parents are getting more and more concerned. This is due to lack of other activities out of school and bad time management. Children are not engaged enough in out of school activities thus they compensate by viewing television. . Watching TV is a passive way to spend time with no social interaction. . Spending a lot of time in front of computer or TV screens limit’s a child time for other activities. That’s why it is crucial t to organize free time in a more beneficial way. That being said another major cause is that parents do not set reasonable limits for their children. This might be due to intensity of modern life, parents are often too busy to supervise their children properly. For many parents, it is just easier to turn on the television than to actually be involved in the lives of their children. As a result they spend a large amount of their free time watching TV programs and sometimes neglecting their homework. There are two effective solutions to tackle this issue. Firstly parents should make sure their children are involved in other activities. Physical exercise and playing with other children are essential for healthy development. Its important to plan other fun activities, so the child has choices instead of screen time. Secondly parents and children should agree to a limit of television time. If its nry TV/s and computers should be removed from the child bedroom. Conclusively, using computers and viewing television over an extensive period of time among children comes as a result of having no other thing to do and using time ineffectively. Parents should never leave this issue unattended, but start taking precautions such as limiting their screen time and substitute the latter with more outdoor activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
sitting in front of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or a computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are getting more and more concerned. This is due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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activities
out of school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
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time
management.

Children are not engaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in out of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
thus
they compensate by viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Watching TV is a passive way to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with no social interaction.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of computer or TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
limit’s a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. That’s why it is crucial t to organize free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a more beneficial way. That
being said
another major cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not set reasonable limits for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This might be due to intensity of modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
too busy to supervise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
properly
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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parents
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
easier to turn on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
than to actually
be involved
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their
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children
.
As a result
they spend a large amount of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV programs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
neglecting their homework.

There are two effective solutions to tackle this issue.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Physical exercise and playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are essential for healthy development.
Did you mean "It's" (="It is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to plan
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other
fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the child has choices
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
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parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a limit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If its
Possible spelling mistake found.
nry
TV/s and computers should
be removed
from the child bedroom.

Conclusively
, using computers and viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
over an extensive period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as a result
of having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thing to do and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
ineffectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this issue unattended,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking precautions such as limiting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and substitute the latter with more outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay In many countries parents worry about the amount of time children spend watching TV and using the internet. What do you think are the causes of this, what solutions can you suggest

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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