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In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

Nowadays many adolescents over the world are facing a health hazard like obesity. Although there are numerous causes for it, improper diet, lack of exercise, and hereditary problems can be attributed to the most obvious ones. Some people say it is the responsibility of elders if children are facing obesity. This essay completely agrees that it is the duty of elders to take care of their offsprings as they are the closest ones to look after them. This view stated is asserted by two supportive ideas first, imbalanced diet, and second, lack of physical exercise. Firstly, people should realise that health is the utmost important thing in life and diet plays a significant role in it. Obeseness is one such disease that is affected by the imbalanced diet. For example, in a medical survey conducted recently by AIIMS, the numbers proved that more than 50 percent of obese cases are due to excessive consumption of food. This trait can be obtained because there could be either compulsiveness to eat more or even a hereditary attribute. However, it can be controlled if parents take the onus of child's well-being. Secondly, most of modern-day parents think that studies are the only way to be successful in life. In this presumption, they start pushing their children to study more and some of them even try discouraging if their child is interested in sports. For instance, if a child is involved in outdoor sports, because of his muscle movements calories will be burnt. That is why this disease is not observed in athletes. Although there are allopathic medicines to cure this, many doctors prescribe physical exercise to be an effective and natural way to tackle obesity in youngsters. To summarize, diet and physical health play a key role in obesity. That is why I reiterate that parents should be accountable for a child's health issues. Upon detailed analysis, it can be said that if elders encourage adolescents to be involved in sports and maintain a strict food schedule, health hazards like obeseness can be tackled.
Nowadays
many
adolescents over the world are facing a
health
hazard like obesity. Although there are numerous causes for it, improper diet, lack of exercise, and hereditary problems can
be attributed
to the most obvious ones.
Some
people
say it is the responsibility of elders if children are facing obesity. This essay completely
agrees
that it is the duty of elders to take care of their
offsprings
as they are the closest ones to look after them. This view stated
is asserted
by two supportive
ideas
first
, imbalanced diet, and second, lack of physical exercise.

Firstly
,
people
should
realise
that
health
is the utmost
important
thing in life and diet plays a significant role in it.
Obeseness
is one such disease
that is
affected
by the imbalanced diet.
For example
, in a medical survey conducted recently by
AIIMS
, the numbers proved that more than 50 percent of obese cases are due to excessive consumption of food. This trait can
be obtained
because
there could be either compulsiveness to eat more or even a hereditary attribute.
However
, it can
be controlled
if parents take the onus of child's well-being.

Secondly
, most of modern-day parents
think
that studies are the
only
way to be successful in life. In this presumption, they
start
pushing their children to study more and
some
of them even try discouraging if their child
is interested
in sports.
For instance
, if a child
is involved
in outdoor sports,
because
of his muscle movements calories will
be burnt
.
That is
why this disease is not observed in athletes. Although there are allopathic medicines to cure this,
many
doctors prescribe physical exercise to be an effective and natural way to tackle obesity in youngsters.

To summarize
, diet and physical
health
play a key role in obesity.
That is
why I reiterate that parents should be accountable for a child's
health
issues. Upon detailed analysis, it can
be said
that if elders encourage adolescents to
be involved
in sports and maintain a strict food schedule,
health
hazards like
obeseness
can
be tackled
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, obesity among children has drastically increased. Parents should be held responsible if their children are obese. What are your views on the subject?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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