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More students are moving from developing countries to developed countries. Are rich countries stealing talented people from poorer countries? How can people be encouraged to stay in their home country?

Mostly students from poor nations moving in developed nations, in order to stay in their own countries. This essay will include the evidences that developed countries are not grabbing manpower of developing countries, also, will suggest the ways to motivate local students to settle in their motherland. In my point of view, advances nations are not stealing capable students from emerging nations. First of all, developed countries have all opportunities for people to study and work in well requirements. They care about foreign students and trying to give them all needed requests, like, residence, bursary and so on. Secondly, in foreign countries there are more support in new beginnings, for start-uppers. After graduating their own degrees, university or tutors may recommend their students to help them with finding out their jobs. As an example, lectures with more seniority can recommend their best students to associates in their sphere of working. Thirdly, in advanced countries there are huge range of professions, in that way, there exchanged foreign students have more chances to find the needed work, that has a big difference of levels in that two types of countries. Students will not leave their own country, if they will have more opportunity and motivation to study there. Accordingly, there is need to work on outer and inner appearance of education establishment. Reconstruction of old buildings and replacing non-working hardware into new ones. Additionally, giving more opportunities for students by raising the quality of knowledge. For example, let teachers out on temporary assignments to update their methods of teaching and to refresh their knowledge. In conclusion, from my perspective I do not think that developed countries taking manpower from other developing countries, so to encourage students to stay in their own country, there is need of some changes, so it can be adapted to avoid people from leaving their home. .
Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
moving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, in order to stay in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This essay will include the evidences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not grabbing manpower of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
also
, will suggest the ways to motivate local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to settle in their motherland.

In my point of view, advances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are not stealing capable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have all opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to study and work in well requirements. They care about foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and trying to give them all needed requests, like, residence, bursary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are more support in new beginnings, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-uppers. After graduating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
degrees, university or tutors may recommend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with finding out their jobs. As an example, lectures with more seniority can recommend their best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to associates in their sphere of working.
Thirdly
, in advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are huge range of professions, in that way, there exchanged foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have more chances to find the needed work, that has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference of levels in that two types of countries.

Students will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if they will have more opportunity and motivation to study there.
Accordingly
, there
is need
to work on outer and inner appearance of education establishment. Reconstruction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings and replacing non-working hardware into new ones.
Additionally
, giving more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by raising the quality of knowledge.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
teachers out on temporary assignments to update their methods of teaching and to refresh their knowledge.

In conclusion
, from my perspective I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
taking manpower from other developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to stay in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, there
is need
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
be adapted
to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from leaving their home.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay More students are moving from developing countries to developed countries. Are rich countries stealing talented people from poorer countries? How can people be encouraged to stay in their home country?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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