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In many countries in the world, some people can earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country. others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level

In many countries in the world, some people can earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country. others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level k85O
There is no doubt that over the last few decades more and more women have gotten high-level jobs. While there are quite a lot of people who support the idea of this number is too low and the government should foster companies and organizations to raise it, others tend to disagree with this position. I strongly agree with the former opinion and in this essay, it will be supported class with arguments and class. The main reason why I think the government should not do anything in this area is because this would be an artificial development and it will be a potential host of the issues. This is because CEOs, directors and other top-level managers have got their jobs due to their work results and professional skills. In contrast, if a person without such accomplishments, and based only on her sex, receives such position, this company or organization will face problems caused by unqualified management in the near future. Probably nobody would argue that this is a huge drawback. Another reason why I think it shouldn’t be done is due to the fact that contemporary legislation has proved that the current system is working fine. Indeed, over last decades the economy shows exponential growth and today ’s management has proved its effectiveness. For example, A recent study conducted by the University of London concluded that companies that are managed by men are 90% more successful in the modern market than the ones which are managed by women. Consequently, it is imperative for the government to keep economic growth and save jobs for men and women because without good management everyone will lose. In conclusion, I firmly believe that a public authorities should not force class and organizations to hire women in managerial positions because it is unnatural thus cause various class problems which I described above. After analysing the subject, it has become evident that the current is a result of evolution and must be respected.
There is no doubt that over the last few decades more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have gotten high-level jobs.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are quite a lot
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea


of this number is too low and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government


should

foster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
organizations to raise it, others tend to disagree with this position. I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
strongly


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree


with the former opinion and in this essay, it will
be supported


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
arguments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

The main reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think


the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government


should

not do anything in this area is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
would be an artificial development and it will be a potential host of the issues. This is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
because


CEOs, directors and other top-level managers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
jobs due to their work results and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In contrast
, if a person without such accomplishments, and based
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
only


on her sex, receives such position, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
organization will face problems caused by unqualified management in the near future.
Probably


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nobody
would argue that this is a huge drawback.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think


it shouldn’t
be done


is due to the fact that contemporary legislation has proved that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
system
is working fine.
Indeed
, over last decades the economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
exponential
growth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today


’s management has proved its effectiveness.
For example
, A recent study conducted by the University of London concluded that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
companies


that
are managed


by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men


are 90% more successful in the modern market than the ones which
are managed


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Consequently
, it is imperative for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government


to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep


economic growth and save jobs for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men


and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
management
everyone will lose.

In conclusion
, I
firmly


believe that a public authorities

should

not force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class


and organizations to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in managerial positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


it is unnatural
thus


cause various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class


problems which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
above
. After
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
analysing


the subject, it has become evident that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current


is a result of evolution and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
respected.
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IELTS essay In many countries in the world, some people can earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country. others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level

Essay
  American English
47 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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