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In many countries good schools and medical facilities only available in cities. Some people believe that new teachers and doctors should work in rural area for few years, but some think everyone should be free to choose where they work, discuss both and give opinion.

In many countries good schools and medical facilities only available in cities. Some people believe that new teachers and doctors should work in rural area for few years, but some think everyone should be free to choose where they work, 7jqA
There is no doubt that primary facilities like educational institutes and hospitals are necessary. Although some people believe that new graduates should have no restriction to choose their workplace, I would argue that with own willingness they should give service for a few years in rural areas. On one hand, those who advocate having the liberty of choosing their place of endeavour may argue that new teachers and doctors cannot be enforced to take a job in any uncomfortable environment. This is because new graduates require an agreeable workspace to gain knowledge and confidence in their profession. For example, working in an uncomfortable atmosphere without complying could be dangerous and might create more harm than good. In contrast, if they make themselves comfortable in a countryside work area, it would give them a sense of giving back to society and happiness by aiding others. On the other hand, my view is that helping underprivileged people is a paramount element of humanity. In villages, primary facilities like education and medical are highly affordable and by creating the willingness to work there, teachers and doctors can get the experience they require as well. Moreover, the government should start an initiation project to create enthusiasm in new doctors and professors. For instance, providing adequate housing facilities and giving them better remuneration can attract those professionals who are willing to work in rural areas. If such steps are not taken into consideration, it will keep having inequality and injustice for primary necessities. However, without such steps, it could lead the country to an unstable society and economic instability. In conclusion, despite the free will for working anywhere new teachers and doctors please, it is my firm belief that helping deprived people is an act of humanity and administration should spread cognizance for the betterment of society and the region.
There is no doubt that primary facilities like educational institutes and hospitals are necessary. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates should have no restriction to choose their workplace, I would argue that with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
willingness they should give service for a few years in rural areas.

On one hand, those who advocate having the liberty of choosing their place of
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
cannot
be enforced
to take a job in any uncomfortable environment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates require an agreeable workspace to gain knowledge and confidence in their profession.
For example
, working in an uncomfortable atmosphere without complying could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and might create more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
In contrast
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves comfortable in a countryside work area, it would give them a sense of giving back to society and happiness by aiding others.

On the other hand
, my view is that helping underprivileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a paramount element of humanity. In villages, primary facilities like education and medical are
highly
affordable and by creating the willingness to work there, teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the experience they require
as well
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an initiation project to create enthusiasm in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and professors.
For instance
, providing adequate housing facilities and giving them better remuneration can attract those professionals who are willing to work in rural areas. If such steps are not taken into consideration, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
having inequality and injustice for primary necessities.
However
, without such steps, it could lead the country to an unstable society and economic instability.

In conclusion
, despite the free will for working anywhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
, it is my firm belief that helping deprived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
an act of humanity and administration should spread cognizance for the betterment of society and the region.
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IELTS essay In many countries good schools and medical facilities only available in cities. Some people believe that new teachers and doctors should work in rural area for few years, but some think everyone should be free to choose where they work,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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