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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work.Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable workexperience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable workexperience, important for learning and taking responsibility. XJxP
Adolescents in some nqtions are believed to be involved in some types of paid employment. However, the future of those children labouring has caused controversy among contemporary people. While some may consider that child labour is vital for studying and developing responsibility in life, I believe that it is absolutely incorrect since it endangers the minor's learning ability. Initially, child labour is considered to be essential for learning. In other words, children can increase their learning on-the-job skills by working. This assists them to establish their job career on their own and overcome challenges easily in their future work. Moreover, child labour is essential for kids to take more responsibility in their life. That is, having earned some income, children are given more authority since they are supporting their family as their parents. Besides it, they can pay their school fees by labouring during theit spare time which is supposed to be their major responsibilities. That said, I consider that child work can be obstacle for minors' learning ability. In other words, child labour can prevent majority of children from attending school. It leads not only to decrease the interests of a child to gaining knowledge, but also reduce their level of intelligence. For example, due to working, child is believed not to have adequate of time to study and it results in lagging from others in studying. In conclusion, in spite of the beliefs of some individuals that child labour is indispensable for learning and being more responsible, I think that it can affect learning skills of adolescents negatively.
Adolescents in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
nqtions
are believed
to
be involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of paid employment.
However
, the future of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'labouring' is British English.
labouring
has caused controversy among contemporary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is vital for studying and developing responsibility in life, I believe that it is
absolutely
incorrect since it endangers the minor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
ability.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is considered
to be essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
on-the-job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by working. This assists them to establish their job career on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and overcome challenges
easily
in their future work.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is essential for kids to take more responsibility in their life.
That is
, having earned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more authority since they are supporting their family as their parents.
Besides
it, they can pay their school fees by
Possible spelling mistake. 'labouring' is British English.
labouring
during
Possible spelling mistake found.
theit
spare time which
is supposed
to be their major responsibilities.

That said, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
work can be obstacle for minors'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
ability.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from attending school. It leads not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to decrease the interests of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to gaining knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their level of intelligence.
For example
, due to working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is believed
not to have adequate of time to study and it results in lagging from others in studying.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the beliefs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is indispensable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and being more responsible, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of adolescents
negatively
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable workexperience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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