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In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on televition and in computers and video games

In many different countries, increasing in evil has been accused violent images on television and in camputers and video games. I don't completely disagree with the given viewpoint and my aim from this essay explaining why I agree with the given opinion and giving some examples related to my own knowledge To begin with, in our globalization era computer games are increasing dramatically, because of scientists don't stop searching many interesting and new things. Coming to the any kind of crimes, they related to teenagers although parents don't interested in their child's behavior and it is the biggest problem for our social life. After words, there is no denying that in current days, the most preferable actions which are related to the computer and in there you can organize many organizations and party with online structure. Likewise many criminal groups are very active to attract people in their communities which are criminal cases. Additionally the highest percentage of teenagers use modern technologies and they can see many videos related to crimes. Additionally, coming to the solutions of this problem, the only resolution will be educate young children in their childhood period and than they can distinguish white from black. Taking everything in to consideration, this is claimed actions very considerable because in my country's teenagers must decorate bright future and they are not interested in any kind of games.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, increasing in evil has
been accused
violent images on television and in
Possible spelling mistake found.
camputers
and video games. I don't completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
viewpoint and my aim from this essay explaining why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opinion and giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
knowledge


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in our globalization era computer games are increasing
dramatically
,
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because
of scientists don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
searching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting and new things. Coming to the any kind of crimes, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
although parents don't interested in their child's behavior and it is the biggest problem for our social life.

After words, there is no denying that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days, the most preferable actions which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to the computer and in there you can organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations and party with online structure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminal groups are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their communities which are criminal cases.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
the highest percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technologies and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
videos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to crimes.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Additionally
, coming to the solutions of this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
resolution will be
Consider using the past participle "educated"?
educate
young children in their childhood period and
Did you mean "then"?
than
they can distinguish white from black.

Taking everything in to consideration, this
is claimed
actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
considerable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my country's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
decorate bright
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they are not interested in any kind of games.
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IELTS essay In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on televition and in computers and video games

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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