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In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games.

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. 57qm
In various countries rising crime data been blamed via TV, violent images, video games and in computers. It is a fact that, the number of crimes in distinctive countries have been increased everyday and people by using technological devices try to demonstrate an importance of this problem. For instance, illustrating crime incidence on TV or by images could impact on the people whose still support an invisible murderer around us. By using these device the people might aware on seriousness of this issue. Especially, in feminicide there are diverse women that perseveringly support that the causes of crime are women. In this case, the violent images and TV might help to the critic women to show the truth side of picture. According to my knowledge, blaming crime incidence does not only show on TV or by images it also publishing in computer as well as in video games. Nowadays, majority of people prefer to follow news by computer. Moreover, sharing crime incidences in social medias would cause to reach in enormous number of people. Especially young generations are addicted to play video games that means by involving a seriousness of crime consequences in video games might informative for them. Crime incidence in every country has to blame no matter in which way. In conclusion, in distinctive countries people should aware on the importance of crime consequences by following TV, computer or other technological issues.
In various
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countries
rising
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crime
data
been blamed
via TV, violent
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images
,
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video
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games
and in computers.

It is a fact that, the number of
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crimes
in distinctive
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countries
have
been increased
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and
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people
by using technological devices try to demonstrate an importance of this problem.
For instance
, illustrating
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crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidence
on TV or by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
could impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
still
support an invisible murderer around us. By using
Did you mean "this device" or "these devices"?
these device
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might aware on seriousness of this issue.
Especially
, in
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feminicide
there are diverse women that
Possible spelling mistake found.
perseveringly
support that the causes of
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crime
are women.
In this case
, the violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
and TV might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the critic women to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the truth side of picture.

According to my knowledge, blaming
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crime
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incidence
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on TV or by
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images
it
also
publishing in computer
as well
as in
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Nowadays,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
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people
prefer to follow news by computer.
Moreover
, sharing
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crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidences
in social medias would cause
Did you mean "reaching"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to reach
in enormous number of
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people
.
Especially
young generations
are addicted
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that means by involving a seriousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
consequences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
might informative for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidence
in every
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
blame no matter in which way.

In conclusion
, in distinctive
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should aware on the importance of
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crime
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "by". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences by
following TV, computer or other technological issues.
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IELTS essay In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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