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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Maximum wages rate has become a consideration for many governments in all around the world. Majority of people believe that the maximum salary should not be limited considering the benefits to the economy. This phenomenon, however, is illusory for some people due to the facts that the inequality gap could be worse. This essay will discuss and scrutinize both of the point of views. To begin with, it is apparent that high salary will create a better competition among employees. This will create a good work environment as the people work harder to gain their earning. Furthermore, when many companies could guarantee the merit system for their workers, the productivity will increase and boost the supply-side. On the other hand, because the earning is also climbed up, citizens would have a better ability to buy products, which absolutely support the demand-side. Based on the Keynes theory, the greater the level of supply and demand, the higher the economic growth is. Although wages is not the only determinant for the economic growth, it is obvious that wages rate plays a significant role. On the other hand, when the government does not limit the maximum wages. the wider inequality gap would be created. When the poor are not able to continue education because of the unequal state-budget redistribution, the unemployment rate will rapidly surge. This is because the salary gap between the rich and the poor are very different, so the school and university are prefer to choose the rich by increasing their tuitition fees. As a consequence, if the unemployment rate rise, the crime rate will also rocket and threat the country's citizen. As a conclusion, I personally believe that competition among employees is crucial for the economy by not limiting the maximum salary. However, the governments ought to regulate a better budget redistribution, for instance, by imposing a wealth tax or a regressive personal income tax and giving incentives to the poor through subsidy. Comments:
Maximum wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has become a consideration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in all around the world. Majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
should not
be limited
considering the benefits to the economy. This phenomenon,
however
, is illusory for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to the facts that the inequality gap could be worse. This essay will discuss and scrutinize both of the point of views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is apparent that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
will create a better competition among employees. This will create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work environment as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work harder to gain their earning.
Furthermore
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could guarantee the merit system for their workers, the productivity will increase and boost the supply-side.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the earning is
also
climbed up, citizens would have a better ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products, which
absolutely
support the demand-side. Based on the Keynes theory, the greater the level of supply and demand, the higher the economic growth is. Although wages is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
determinant for the economic growth, it is obvious that wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
plays a significant role.

On the other hand
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not limit the maximum wages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
wider inequality gap would
be created
. When the poor are not able to continue education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unequal state-budget redistribution, the unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will
rapidly
surge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
gap between the rich and the poor are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the school and university are
Consider using either the past participle “preferred” or the present participle “preferring” here.
prefer
to choose the rich by increasing their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitition
fees. As a consequence, if the unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rise, the crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will
also
rocket and threat the country's citizen.

As a conclusion, I
personally
believe that competition among employees is crucial for the economy by not limiting the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to regulate a better budget redistribution,
for instance
, by imposing a wealth tax or a regressive personal income tax and giving incentives to the poor through subsidy.

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IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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