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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v.7

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 7
Nowadays closed-circuit cameras are generally accepted in various ways. They can be applied to observation, abnormalities investigating, and suspicious behaviour that will be caused to the culmination in different situations. In my opinion, there are three main methods asides from their superficial consequence in people's society. To start with the elementary point is the security cameras are always applied in traffic patrolling that has under controlled by the police officers. Eventually, the traffics' problems will be easier to resolve. While the factor may be true to some extent, it doesn't indicate that the nation's citizenry will be protected, civil may feel terrified of violation included bank-robbery, gunfight, and others except for traffic problems. Followed to the secondary method is the circuit cameras are commonly used in the public property like a toilet at the gas station or department stores. The installation of these cameras is acceptable and required in many countries. Even though the mentioned purpose is assuredly true, it expressly means that while people are doing personal duties in the toilet, there is a high probability of being recorded by the cameras. The mastery objective is that these security programs have been set to be secure, difficult to be hacked and reliable. Eventually, the populaces will trust the security cameras depend on their protection and real-time recording proof. The concerned statement may be right and accepted. By the other hand, if the camera's operation has loopholes in the system to hack, pretty sure the social unrest will be increased. On the other way, There are maybe social threats as a consequence. In the summary, if the government resolves these methods below by applying surveillance camera in many occupations and using new technologies that more effective than a preservation camera will be highly harmless.
Nowadays closed-circuit
cameras
are
generally
accepted
in various ways. They can
be applied
to observation, abnormalities investigating, and suspicious
behaviour
that will
be caused
to the culmination in
different
situations. In my opinion, there are three main methods asides from their superficial consequence in
people
's society.

To
start
with the elementary point is the security
cameras
are always applied in traffic patrolling that has under controlled by the police officers.
Eventually
, the traffics' problems will be easier to resolve. While the factor may be true to
some
extent, it doesn't indicate that the nation's citizenry will
be protected
, civil may feel terrified of violation included bank-robbery, gunfight,
and others
except for
traffic problems.

Followed to the secondary method is the circuit
cameras
are
commonly
used
in the public property like a toilet at the gas station or department stores. The installation of these
cameras
is acceptable and required in
many
countries.
Even though
the mentioned purpose is
assuredly
true, it
expressly
means that while
people
are doing personal duties in the toilet, there is a high probability of
being recorded
by the cameras.

The mastery objective is that these security programs have
been set
to be secure, difficult to
be hacked
and reliable.
Eventually
, the populaces will trust the security
cameras
depend on their protection and real-time recording proof. The concerned statement may be right and
accepted
. By the other hand, if the camera's operation has loopholes in the system to hack, pretty sure the social unrest will
be increased
. On the other way, There are maybe social threats as a consequence.

In the summary, if the
government
resolves these methods below by applying surveillance
camera
in
many
occupations and using new technologies that more effective than a preservation
camera
will be
highly
harmless.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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