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In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Pq2p
Although planing special places can lead start ups and inhabitants to move to the suburbs or another locations but it can provide city with less pollution and also more green zones, this essay as I believe demonstrate the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand zoning cities and considering for each facilities such as shops or offices would oblige society to change their living area for being close and having convenient access to grocer stores and school which may lead to crowded polluted regions where also can contributed to more issues such as traffic jam and small businesses for changing their environment may face a lot of problem or even they migh go bankrupt due to this alteration costs them much money, for instance big cities like tehran where people live in its down town due to have quick approach to their offices nonetheless it has lead to more traffic congestion and much more air pollution. On the other hand organizing particular zones can positively impact on the pollution of the town by creating more green spaces, if there are regulations which push factories and manufacturing to the out of the town it will deduct and restrict the amount of air and water pollution particularly and can creat more green spaces which make cities more livable and a more attractive place which brings a longterm profit, new york city could be a proper example for this situation where in spite of its numerous residents, Its facilities and zones have been well managed therefore new york's industrial city is out of the town so it contributed to more green locations in the city which also has helped to the reduction of city impurity. In conclusion, although zoning can influence on the inhabitants' livings and small enterprises on the contrary if it well managed it would hugely improve the pollution status of the city and also the city view by increasing green areas, hence I consider the merits of urban planing overshadow the demerits
Although planing special places can lead
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
start ups
and inhabitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the suburbs or another locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can provide city with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
zones, this essay as I believe demonstrate the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand zoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and considering for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "facility"?
facilities
such as shops or offices would oblige society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their living area for being close and having convenient access to grocer stores and school which may lead to crowded polluted regions where
also
can contributed to more issues such as traffic jam and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses for changing their environment may face
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of problems".
a lot of problem
or even they
Possible spelling mistake found.
migh
go bankrupt due to this alteration costs them much money,
for instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
tehran
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in its down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
due to have quick approach to their offices nonetheless it has lead to more traffic congestion and much more air pollution.

On the other hand
organizing particular zones can
positively
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
by creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
spaces, if there are regulations which push factories and manufacturing to the out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
it will deduct and restrict the amount of air and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
particularly
and can
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
spaces which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more livable and a more attractive place which brings a
Possible spelling mistake found.
longterm
profit,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
city could be a proper example for this situation where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its numerous residents, Its facilities and zones have been well managed
therefore
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new york
's industrial city is out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it contributed to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
locations in the city which
also
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to the reduction of city impurity.

In conclusion
, although zoning can influence on the inhabitants' livings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
enterprises
on the contrary
if it well managed it would
hugely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
status of the city and
also
the city view by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
areas,
hence
I consider the merits of urban planing overshadow the demerits
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IELTS essay In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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