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In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. What are advantages and disadvantages of living in large apartment block

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. What are advantages and disadvantages of living in large apartment block MwmDo
An increasing number of people are living in big flats in lots of cities. Those people will give less monthly rent also they can live where all essential places are in. While there are also some drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, there are some advantages to live in big chambers. Firstly, they will give fewer monthly rent from people whose living in houses with a big yard for instance, in my country if you live in a house with a big yard you should give more rent than living in a big apartment. Secondly, more apartments are built near hospitals, gyms, schools and other important places so, it is a big benefit to live close to those places. Thirdly, most of the flats are updated in the style of the time as a result, you will not worry that your home is old fashioned. On the other hand, beside this upsides there are also some downside to live in a big apartment is that you will live two or three strangers in same hallway it can cause to be disturbed by your neighbors. Other problem that living in flat have is a large number of apartments do not have sun access as a result, this will will be harmful for people health specially bones because sun is rich with vitamin D. In conclusion, while people living in apartments lives near those important places, it can be hard for them to live there because lots of chambers are so hot during summer.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
flats in lots of cities. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will give less monthly rent
also
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
where all essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are in.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
chambers.
Firstly
, they will give fewer monthly rent from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
yard
for instance
, in my country if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
yard you should give more rent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
Secondly
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are built
near hospitals, gyms, schools and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
close to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Thirdly
, most of the flats
are updated
in the style of the time
as a result
, you will not worry that your home is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
.

On the other hand
, beside this upsides there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is that you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
two or three strangers in same hallway it can cause to
be disturbed
by your neighbors. Other problem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in flat have is
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
do not have sun access
as a result
, this
Possible typo: you repeated a word
will will
be harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health
specially
bones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sun is rich with vitamin D.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
near those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lots of chambers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
hot during summer.

IELTS essay In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. What are advantages and disadvantages of living in large apartment block

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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