Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and their is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

We cannot deny the fact that increasing proportion of people do not know their neighbours and oneness of community is decrementing especially in urban areas. As follows, we will tackle the different reasons for this agenda and find out solutions for the improvement of the community. To begin, their are many reasons why this situation arises. For one, most individual needs to adapt from their work situation in which it includes frequent change of workplace from one place to another. This experience is common as such most of the people, especially young adults, are sent to other places or more extent to other countries, in order to fullfill their job responsibilities. Next, they don't have enough time to mingle with other community people because they are busy from work and other responsibilities, like sending their children to school, cooking and cleaning their houses; especially the mothers. Lastly, different structures of houses are present nowadays. Some live in flat, condominiums and apartments with big spaces to the next neighbourhood. This results in fewer conversations and confinement in one place. Meanwhile, their are some ways in which this situation can be solve with the involvement of individuals and government. Local government should organize a community program in which they can hold a once or twice a month get together meetings, community outreach programs that includes tree planting or beautification of the parks within the place. Another one is they can put a playground in the parks so that the children can have a playing space outside their homes; thus parents can have the time to know each other while watching their kids. But, this efforts of the government will nit be feasible if the community people itself will not participate and provide some time to attend this programs. Overall, individuals in the community and local government should work together in order to improve their way of togetherness in the community. This will have a positive result which can lead to a better life within the place.
We cannot deny the fact that increasing proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbours’ is British English.
neighbours
and oneness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is decrementing
especially
in urban areas. As follows, we will tackle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons for this agenda and find out solutions for the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
Did you mean “there”?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why this situation arises. For one, most individual needs to adapt from their work situation in which it includes frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of workplace from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another. This experience is common as such most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young adults, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or more extent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries, in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their job responsibilities.
Next
, they don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to mingle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy from work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities, like sending their children to school, cooking and cleaning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
;
especially
the mothers.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
structures of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are present nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in flat, condominiums and apartments with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
spaces to the
next
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhood’ is British English.
neighbourhood
. This results in fewer conversations and confinement in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Meanwhile,
Did you mean “there”?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways in which this situation can be
Consider using the past participle “solved”.
solve
with the involvement of individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
program in which they can hold a once or twice a month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together meetings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
outreach programs that includes tree planting or beautification of the parks within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Another one is they can put a playground in the parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the children can have a playing space outside their homes;
thus
parents can have the time to know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while watching their kids.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘efforts’. Did you mean “these”?
this
efforts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
Did you mean “not”?
nit
be feasible if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
itself will not participate and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to attend
Did you mean “these”?
this
programs.
Overall
, individuals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should work together in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their way of togetherness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. This will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result which can lead to a better life within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and their is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts