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1. At present times, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults ,compared with the number of older people .Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some countries population include a majority habitants of young generation than the old aged people. Some people think there are many advantages of having young people more than old while others think it has several disadvantages. I think, having youngsters more in the country have both consequences merits and demerits. Having higher proportion of youngster have several positive outcomes. This is because youngsters are energetic and have creative and new approach to handling matters. For instance if nation is rich in agricultural output and the citizens are majority young people. Being strong and physically fit they can help nation by extending their labor service. similarly, companies require young blood to bring new and innovative approach to their processes. Hence, youngster On the other hand greater percentage of young aged people have multiple negative consequences. Such as young generation lack devotion and responsibility. young people are mostly concerned with their enjoyment activities as at this stage they are immature and lack ownership to handle task. Furthermore they lack experience with old aged people have. To conclude, although a large number of youngster population have numerous advantages and disadvantages. However, it much depend on the contribution of nation towards their upbringing and building their vision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
An apostrophe may be missing.
countries
population include
The plural noun “habitants” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a majority habitant” or “majority habitants”?
a majority habitants
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has several disadvantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, having youngsters more in the country have both consequences merits and demerits.

Having higher proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters are energetic and have creative and new approach to handling matters.
For instance
if nation is rich in agricultural output and the citizens are majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Being strong and
physically
fit they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nation by extending their labor service.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
blood to bring new and innovative approach to their processes.
Hence
, youngster

On the other hand
greater percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have multiple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation lack devotion and responsibility.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
concerned with their enjoyment activities as at this stage they are immature and lack ownership to handle task.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
they lack experience with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have.

To conclude
, although
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
population have numerous advantages and disadvantages.
However
, it much
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “depends”.
depend
on the contribution of nation towards their upbringing and building their vision.
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IELTS essay 1. At present times, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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